Sunday, July 20, 2008

30 Days of Praise - Day 14

It's been a long weekend, but on the other hand it went by really fast. Neal's still in the hospital, and although there has been a little encouraging news, everything is still very much up in the air.

I am perplexed by the way I have been feeling. I will be honest, circumstances have seriously hindered my prayer life these past few days. Well, they have and they haven't. Sometimes the whole thing just confuses me. There's been no bowing to the knees, but there has been conversation thrown out to the One I know is there and listening. There's also been a lot of listening to and singing along to worship. That's an incredibly encouraging thing to do.

We missed church today, couldn't go because of Victoria's flu yesterday, but she did make it through today without any probelm, and for now at least, no one else seems to be coming down with it. I'm thankful for that.

These last couple weeks I have been really seeking the Lord, and have felt really connected. I feel now like He drew me to that to better prepare me to handle this difficult challenge. Tonight as I drove home from the hospital I made a stop at the drive-thru. I found myself laughing and joking with the guy in the window, and it occurred to me, that isn't my usual way. Stress tends to make me unbearable - evenmean, and through this crisis, it just hasn't been the case. Even with my kids, I usually get so tense in challenge I snap and I bark, and somehow that hasn't been the case. What's changed?

So here I my possible theories. Maybe the fact that I was focused in an easy time has sustained me to be more spirit led? My other theory is that I am being sustained by the prayers of my loved ones and friends who are praying for me. Or maybe it's both.

I don't really know, but I do know whatever the "difference" is, it is the work of the Lord, and not me. I am thankful for a God who strengthens and sustains.

Cast your burden on the Lord, and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved. Psalm 55:22

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