Sunday, January 22, 2012

100 Verses - Week 20 - The Hardest Verse of All

The verses for this week are probably going to be a huge sigh of relief for most long time Christians. My guess would be that next to John 3:16, this weeks 2 verse passage is probably one of the most well-known, commonly quoted passages of all of scripture. If you have not yourself recited it, I would be surprised if you didn't have it quoted to you or at least hear it said at some point and time in your own personal Walk of Faith.

So other than the probable slight difference in the translation that we've been using, I am figuring that most of you will read the passage with a huge sigh of relief and mentally check your memory verses for this next week off your list. You might consider it a great week for catching up on verses from previous weeks in the Challenge. Woot! Woot! You've got this.

As for me, meditating on this week's passage is going to be tough. When I look at it, I see simple "kingdom math" - a + b = c, kind of stuff, the classic if/ then scenario. It's truth, and it sounds so simple, but I personally find myself in the thick of begging God to prove it true in my life, and I find myself waiting. I have confidence it will prove true, I just don't know when.

This week's verses:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not rely on your own understanding.
Think about Him in all your ways,
and He will guide you on the right paths.

Proverbs 3:5-6

I trust the Lord, with all my heart. I take Him at His word, completely. I know if He said, He will surely do it, God is not a man that He should lie. God has proven Himself trustworthy to me, time and time again. So often it doesn't make sense to me, but I trust Him more than I trust me anyway. Too much flesh and emotion in the human psyche, including mine. I do think about Him all the time, in everything I do. He is the filter I run everything through. I'm constantly thinking about Him, and about how He feels about the things I do and the things I say. I seek His wisdom and direction constantly. I do my best (which of course in my humanness always falls short) to follow the three commands before the promise in this passage of scripture.

But I am waiting on the promise. I am waiting for the direction. I'm not seeing it, I'm not hearing it, but I am waiting for it. Right now I find myself feeling completely lost. I don't know where God wants me, or what He wants me to be doing. I feel adrift. I don't know where Go wants me to serve or how. I feel like I am supposed to know and make a decision, and I am terrified of finding myself in a place I don't belong for another ten years (even a year is too long.) I know my gifts, and I can find no place for them. I don't know what God wants me to do with the blog, I don't know what God wants me to do with my book. The speaking opportunity I have been praying for finally presents itself and then He tells me to say "no." I suppose that was "directing me on a right path." But the right path still feels like a whole lot of limbo, and I have been in limbo for a very long time, and the path ahead, looks like a whole lot more.

...He will guide you on the right paths. It's truth. But it isn't easy. This kingdom math is actually a lot like "kingdom algebra." There are a lot of unknowns in this equation. My heart aches at the difficulty of the problem. But as it says in the Psalms, "Whom have I in heaven BUT You, Lord?"

I'm going to be soaking the verse in this week. I'm going to believe and hold to it in faith, and hope for the day to soon come when the promise it holds is fulfilled in my life, in Jesus' name.

The 100 Verse Challenge is based on Robert J. Morgan's book 100 Verses Everyone Should Know by Heart.