Monday, September 21, 2009

He Takes My Breath Away

The Lord took my breath away yesterday. It was just Him and me, my thoughts were just dwelling on Him, and for a moment, I lost my breath. It reminded me of the way falling in love felt. Don't misread, being in love is much better than falling in love, but the falling can be really good. Do you remember that feeling? Or have you even ever felt it? There's this little pit-like feeling in your diaphragm, like you've lost your air, and a pressure in your chest as though if you don't breathe in deeply and suddenly, you might never breathe again. It's a little like a sense of panic, except your mind is not running but focused. It's a little like illness, except it's not unpleasant. Maybe that's why they coined the term "lovesick."

It could be a somewhat addictive feeling. It could get you into lots of trouble too, I suppose if the object of the emotion wasn't a healthy one. But for me, yesterday at least, it was the Lord.

I wish I could feel like that every day... minus the appearance lovesick adolescents walk around with. I don't what the dazed look in my eyes or my tongue hanging half out my mouth, not knowing where I've been or where I'm going. It's a funny look and at 39, I'm pretty sure I can't pull it off.

Neal's made me feel this way, still does a lot of days, but this wasn't Neal making me feel this way yesterday, it was the Lord. It started when I was listening to a song I wasn't familiar with called "Soon" by Hillsong United. It touched my heart. It's a song about the Lord coming back for me. I look forward to that day. Yesterday as I was listening I think I understood what the apostle Paul meant when he said, "to live is Christ, and to die is gain." I just really wanted to go and be with Him. I felt homesick for Him.

No complaint about my live as it is. I am a woman GREATLY blessed. I have a husband who I am 1000% madly in love with, I have three precious children who are God's greatest gifts to me that I love immensely. I am surrounded by precious people in my life that I love and care for immensely. And yet all of these wonderful blessings pale in comparison. Christ is the Great Romance in my life.

I feel for Him like the princess who awaits her Knight in shining armor. No, better yet, I am the peasant girl awaiting her Prince who loves her passionately, completely and unconditionally and is coming to rescue her and take her off to where she belongs. Oh, someday my Prince will come.

I kept playing the song over and over. It spoke to my soul. The residue of the time entering into His presence, seeking His heart remains. I am still feeling a little lovesick, still longing to be held in His arms of grace completely.

It will not remain, of that I am certain. Truthfully, I don't think it is likely His desire that it should. He isn't here yet for me, because surely there are things He has for me to do and accomplish that have yet to be accomplished. And yet I think He allows these moments to help us have the strength to press on. But I also suspect that there are more of these moments to be had than I actually slow down enough from the "speed of life" to experience.

The exposure to lovesickness for Christ is here to be had. It may be in a song, or a sermon, a worship service, a quiet time. It could be in the moment of counting one's blessings, welcoming a new life, helping a loved one pass out of this life. In those places, the Lord is present, arms of grace, heart of unconditional love. Passion. No greater passion be than the love of Christ.

Let me share the song that touched my heart.

Stop a moment. Close your eyes. Listen. Seek Him with your heart. Breathe deeply. He is present. Faithful. Loving. True. Do you feel it? He's coming, soon. Does He make you breathless.