Monday, June 18, 2012

Busy is a mindset

That's the thought that went running through my mind this morning as I was driving to work.  It didn't feel like my own thought though.  It felt like someone was speaking it to my soul.  It felt like truth.

This is what I know.  Often my husband and I are getting in the car and heading somewhere together.  ONE of us is usually in a hurry, and the other is not.  We are on the same time schedule, we share the same destination, and yet, one of us feels busy and the other does not.

Interestingly, we both have very full calendars, and if you asked either of us, we would describe life as "busy."  He is too busy to read a book, and I am too busy to slow down and take a moment to enjoy the things around me.  I on the other hand often find time to read and he constantly makes the best of life going on around him.

Busy is a mindset.

Lately I have been too busy to get up and read my Bible in the mornings.  I have not been too busy to catch up on Facebook or to check my email, I'm not too busy to keep my Words With Friends games up to date, as well as my Draw Free interactions, but lately, I've struggles to find the time to read my Bible and pray. But I know many people who are too busy to have a Facebook page, (I'm just too busy to play games there) or too busy to take their turn on Words With Friends.

Lately I am also too busy to edit my second novel.  I'm not too busy to watch TV or rent a movie, but I am too busy to edit my book (much to the dismay of many of my friends.) Sometimes I am too busy to answer the phone when it rings, but not too busy to send out a text.  Sometimes I am too busy to listen to a sotry my children want to tell me, but not too busy to give a ten minute lecture about why they should clean their room or treat each other better.

Sometimes I am too busy to tolerate traffic or wait behind someone who has to run back up the aisle for something in the grocery store, but I'm not too busy to post tweet a complaint about the behavior of another on the world wide web. I might be too busy to have dinner with a friend, but not too busy for an afternoon nap.

Busy is a mindset-- because we are never really too busy to make time for the things that are important to us.  There is always room somewhere to "make time" for the things that matter, IF they truly matter.  I suppose that is the key.  Busyness is a mindset but priorities are a personal preference.

I think I want to stop being busy.  That's no easy aspiration as the mother of three who works and is trying to create a writing career.  It's not easy, but I suspect it might be simpler than I think. 

(1) I've got to decide what my priorities are.  At the end of my days what will I wish I had done more of?  Watching TV probably isn't as important a priority as I make it.  There may be days in my future when I wish I was listening to my children tell me stories.

(2) I need to BE in the moment I'm in.  I think I have a bad habit of rushing toward what's next rather than enjoying where I am. This refers not only to the season of my life, but the moment of it.  If I'm ten minutes late home, or I have to call a friend and ask for grace because I didn't get out the door when I wanted to, so be it.  I need to stop taking on the stress of being "behind." Because one reason or another, I am where I am for a reason.  And as far as seasons go, how I wish I hadn't been in a hurry to teach my children to walk, talk, be potty trained, etc.  And right now I write because I enjoy it.  It may NEVER be more than that, and I need to be okay with it, and enjoy my writing while I do it and if nothing ever comes of it, enjoy the fact that I did it-- for me and for God.

(3) I need to cultivate gratitude. There's not a lot of explanation required here.  If nothing else, I have a Savior who loves me, a Heavenly Father who is for me.  But I have so much more than that, and I need to remember to be grateful.

(4) I need to control my emotions rather than letting them control me. Angst, hurry, anxiety-- all part of the "busyness mindset" for me, and they rob me of things that are mine-- abundant life and abiding joy.  You see as a believer those things are mine, the bible says so.  And too often I hurry through life like I don't even know what they are.  It's like living like a millionaire pauper.  My "bank account" in Christ is FULL, and constantly being filled and I walk around like I have nothing.  Shame on me.

(5) God has to be first.  I need to remember He is here and with me in every moment.  When I don't read my Bible or pray, I'm only robbing myself of the "sustenance" and strength that I need.  But when I tear myself down for not doing those things, I alone am my accuser (though I may have help from the darkside). I need to remember that the Lord doesn't turn His back on me, and if I would just turn my heart towards Him I would find that His "face shines upon me."

Yeah, I don't want to be busy anymore-- I may have a woman with a lot of things to tend to, but I can be that woman without being busy.  I want to be a woman who remembers that God is with her (and for her) and that I am abundantly blessed and am grateful for it.  I want the core of my emotions and "feelings" to be rooted in these truths and learn to "let go and let God" when things are not only good, but when they are not so good and not going my way.  I want to live this moment right now with all of these things in the forefront of my mind and heart. I want these things to be my priorities.

I suspect somewhere in this "No more busyness mindset," is the life God has for me.

Teach us to number our days,

that we may gain a heart of wisdom. 
Psalm 90:12