Sunday, February 13, 2011

In the Darkness

"MY LIGHT SHINES ON YOU CONTINUALLY, WHETHER YOU ARE AWARE OF IT OR NOT. During the wee hours of the night, your thoughts are often distorted—even catastrophic. Although you may feel as if you’re enveloped in darkness, remember that darkness and light are alike to Me. I am with you, and My Love for you never fails. You need the Light of My Presence supremely more than you need the light of day."

I read this last night just before bedtime. It was very timely.

The hour was very late for me. After a long day of lazing about and watching movies with my girl, I was up alone till after 2 a.m. reading my Bible and and journaling... and struggling.

My heart was heavy. It's been sinking low like that a lot lately. And I find myself sad, without really knowing why.

For a girl who considers herself to be more of a thinker than a feeler, I really am not fond of feelings that I can't really explain, much less understand.

Lately the lows come in waves. There is a lot of stress in life around here. And the details of it are in the forefront of my vision all the time. I know the truth about faith, and that it's in what I don't see and not what I do. And yet, we are human and flesh and reality is, when we are faced continually with challenging things, no matter how strong our determination, or even how great our faith, we are never completely immune to our flesh where fear and anxiety can fester.

In faith I can respond to fear but I cannot prevent it. To assume that I should have that control is not to understand the human nature.

We cannot control the emotions or even the thoughts that rise, our faith and obedience come to fruition with the way we respond to them.

Fear is not the opposite of faith, but if we let it it will be a catalyst for it.

I have experienced some very dark moments. I am not sure I would dare to declare some of the thoughts that cross my mind suddenly and unexpectedly.

Last night I felt very low, and things seemed very dark. My heart ached. It seems to be doing that a lot lately especially when I find myself alone in the late night hours.

When I headed to bed I grabbed my kindle for a final devotional of the night, and the passage above was what I read.

The Lord is mindful of me. I am so often amazed at Him. His timing is amazing, His attention to detail could not be more intricate.

I am a woman of great faith. My confidence in the Lord is great, but my nature is human, my weaknesses are profound, but God's strength is made perfect in them.

The same is true for you.

If you find yourself feeling alone and in the dark, be assured, Jesus has never left you. He is faithful. When thoughts and feelings, even fears come upon you, do not allow it to cause you to be discouraged, or question your faith, instead, choose your faith to respond to them.

Just reach out. It's as simple as a prayer, or grabbing your Bible. Reach out, stretch your faith.

God is faithful.

He is with you.

He will respond.

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