Honestly I was just sitting here playing Mahjong tiles when suddenly I had this compulsion to write this post. I think the reason it's even come to my mind is because of an email that was sent to me the other day that led me to this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2CaBR3z85c&feature=player_embedded.
Honestly, I think it's one of the best ads I ever seen on the topic. I wonder if it will actually give some pause to thought. I actually kind of doubt it. I think I heard someone say this ad will never get to be aired. I don't know if that's true or not, but it wouldn't surprise me.
As I write this post, I do it with an understanding that I will probably offend many. In fact, some so much that it could cost me friendships, or at least cordial relations. So I will give the disclaimer now that I do not do this to pick an argument or to try to convince anyone who disagrees with me, whether it be in strength or mild consideration, I'm just sharing my perspective.
I give you my opinion first as a woman who has actually been in a crisis pregnancy. I also give you my opinion as a woman who at the age of 19 chose to have an abortion. I will say until I found myself in a crisis pregnancy I considered myself to be neutral on the matter. I honestly felt it was a "to each his or rather her own" opinion. I had never really considered the possibility of actually having one myself. I would even go so far as to say I don't think I thought I would ever have one. It actually was not my first choice even when I was in the circumstance, but without rehashing old wounds and wrongs that have since been both healed and forgiven, I will say that I personally bent from pressures and went through with the abortion. Having said that, no woman can ever consider herself innocent of her choice to have an abortion, ultimately (without a gun to her head) she participates in the choice.
Saying that, I do know what a painful and difficult decision it is to make. And when it's made, it is made in trade for something else. When all the options and considerations are made, it is determined that something else is of greater value than the life inside. Whether it is relationship, or plans, whether it be imagined freedoms or education, something else takes precedence and a woman proceeds. I honestly believe that most women find it a painful decision to make.
In my case, I chose relationship over the unborn baby. And for me, I never questioned whether or not it was a "baby." No one ever tried to convince me it was tissue or something other than a life, and when I went into the clinic for my abortion at about 9 weeks, I mistakenly saw my ultrasound. I wasn't supposed to but I did. I now know what I saw, the beating heart of a little child. I've since had the joy of seeing the same kind of ultrasounds with two of my other children as well, I know even better now what I saw that day. There is no doubt when I had my abortion that a baby died. It's the one fact that is true about all abortions.
Those who are for the "right to abortion" call themselves pro-choice. I find it interesting because it has been my personal experience that abortion is the one choice that ends all other choices. Once the abortion has been done, there is no going back or undoing any regret. It is a decision that can never be changed or modified. On the other hand, a woman who chooses not to have an abortion keeps the door of choice wide open for herself to make many other decisions in the future. There is the choice to have and keep the child, with that comes choices about marriage, education, working. She can choose to postpone other plans and revisit them, she can choose to make new plans or set new goals, or she can make the choice to stay on the path she's already been on and do it in a different way. Or she can choose to continue on her same path apart from being a mother by giving her child up to a loving family for adoption. Even the choice of adoption leads to more choices. She can choose to have an open adoption with ongoing contact with the adoptive family. She can choose to walk away, and with that she can choose to never look back or she can choose to pursue the relationship again in the future. To me, choosing not to have an abortion is, without a doubt, the road to a plethora of future choices.
Another reason I am pro-life is because of my extensive experience of working with women who have had abortions. Without quoting volatile statistics, I can tell you I have personally dealt with hundreds of women who have suffered from the choice of abortion. I have seen women who have suffered physical complications such as infertility and miscarriage. I myself have had two miscarriages after my abortion and my aborted pregnancy was the only pregnancy I ever accomplished without some form of intervention. I have also seen a lot of women with deep psychological scars. I'm not saying all women are affected this way, but my experience indicates that some women undoubtedly are, ranging from chronic nightmares all the way to attempts of suicide, I have seen these responses and a great range in between. I have also seen emotional damage from shame to depression, and there are of course spiritual consequences as well.
Interestingly enough even though my abortion experience was very traumatic, my initial response was to become extremely pro-choice in the aftermath of it. No, honestly I personally became pro-abortion. I can specifically remember having one conversation that I tried to convince a woman I knew to have an abortion. Looking back now I realize I did so because I didn't want to feel alone, it wasn't enough to be a statistic, I wanted to personally know someone else who'd actually been through it. I am thankful to this day that she didn't listen to me, especially when I see what a treasure her son has grown up to be. I also have great guilt to know that she did abort a later pregnancy that I never knew about till years later. I do feel some sense of responsibility in that, because I lied to her and told her it was "no big deal." Abortion is indeed a big deal.
That leads to another reason why I am against abortion. I have an adopted child. So every day living in my very own home is a reminder at what cost abortion comes. A beautiful loving child, who was given life in the most dire of circumstances, and he's never brought anything but joy into my life. More and more I hear about children who've been adopted, and I think, each one of them has been a choice. Truly every child born since 1973 has absolutely been a choice. They have been given the gift of life, chosen first by God and then my their mother. And those adopted have been chosen yet again. And it is sincerely an incredible thing to experience the joy of adoption.
Now having said all that, you will probably never find me picketing a clinic or lobbying on Capitol stairs. I will always vote pro-life (sorry Mr. President) and I will sign any solid pro-life petition that comes my way, but I know that isn't where the answers lie. Would I love to live in an a world where abortion didn't exist? I would. Do I expect to? I do not. I also don't believe the solution is in sexual education or making birth control more available. You can keep telling me teenagers are "going to have sex" and I will continue to tell any of them who will listen, not to unless they are married. If only a few listen, I will have at least done my part to make an impact. And even if I only change one opinion, I will have at least changed that one opinion. I'm not speaking from a soap box, I'm speaking from my experience, and that no one can deny.
The battle of abortion is not a mass war, but hand to hand combat, and it isn't to be fought against the woman who is making the choice to have one, but rather against the mindset she's been given to believe as absolute. It's a battle against the thought that it is the "best" way or the "only" way. It's a fight against hopelessness and fear. The day I walked into a clinic to have my abortion, I was looking for a way out, I was open to another road of thought. One of my saddest memories about that day is driving into the clinic parking lot. As I looked out the passenger window there were well intentioned people there picketing the clinic. I honestly believe their hearts were for the well-being of the babies. As we drove up to the lot though, they pointed fingers and began to yell. It was with harsh and angry tones that they cried out "Murderer!" at me. And it was in that moment that the clinic that I questioned entering suddenly became the safest place for me to go. I'm by no means judging the people who were there that day, but I do offer it as a warning to any who may feel called to do such a thing should do it in peace and love, whatever their motivation.
To a woman considering abortion I would say, weight your options yet again, there is only one direction that continues down the road of choice. To a woman who has already made the decision and is hurting from it, I would say, you are not alone, there is hope. I never cease to be amazed at how in a world where abortion is so acceptable, so few women who've had them are willing to talk about it. And they are everywhere, in your workplaces, even your churches, your families and many of them are in pain. I pray that both these groups of women discover there is help out there and there is hope.
It is hope that makes me pro-life, I choose to keep it alive. Of course, having said all of that, there is one reason greater than all I have written for my pro-life convictions. The strongest belief I hold about why I am pro-life comes from the scripture.
Genesis 1:26 says, Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness."
Human life was created with inherent value. It's value cannot be separated from the very life itself. Created lives are not accidents or mistakes, human life is made to reflect the image of the Creator Himself. Whether treasured or neglected, it loses no value, it is no less precious, only less appreciated. You are valuable because God created you. He chose to knit you together in a very specific way for a very specific purpose. From the color of your eyes and hair to the personality, strengths and talents He's given you, you are His precious creation. You just may not realize that. And unfortunately people don't realize that is the case with all human life, and so much valuable life is squandered through abortion. Babies being unplanned or unwanted don't make them less valuable, but unfortunately there is no coming back from abortion, the "choice" that ends all choices.
For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! Psalm 139:13-17
For more of my personal experience with abortion, click here.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Anxious for Nothing
I have been thinking about this phrase a lot lately.
"Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-8
It's a command of God, and a tall order to fill, very hard in times such as these. Everywhere you turn it seems the world is buckling under pressures beyond its control. The economy is bad, people's jobs are at risk, companies are closing, families filing bankruptcies. Yesterday here in Southern California the breaking news story in the morning was of a man who committed suicide after killing his wife and their five children. He sent a fax to the local news station indicating that his wife had planned everything and that both he and she had lost their jobs recently. Their anxiety must have been great.
Sources of anxiety are never lacking. This morning as I was laying in the chiropractor's office for what is supposed to be 7 minutes of relaxation, my mind started to reel. I could worry about my kids, our finances, our family's business, medical bills, our health. There's plenty to be anxious about.
Sometimes I think back to the years 2001-2004 when were battling out our child's adoption. We were on a veritable 24/7 anxiety cycle. In fact even after everything had been settled and it was finalized and irrevocable I had panic attacks for the months that followed. I would lay in bed at night and my heart would just rush. I found out later that it's not uncommon after a prolonged period of stress that your adrenal gland can actually misfire, and the panic attack comes because after having been on a sort of "high alert" for so long your body gets accustomed to being there. I would lay there in a cold sweat, so anxious. I suppose that was a different kind of "anxious for nothing."
The anxiety and worry it births really bring no good. Matthew 6:27 asks the question, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" The truth of the matter is that worry doesn't add anything to your life, but it can rob you of so much, your time, your peace, your hope. I wonder what the statistics are of how much we worry about actually coming to fruition. Worry reminds me of the old dog who is chasing his tail, he never really gets anywhere, but he certainly can wear himself out. Proverbs 12:25 says it like this, "An anxious heart weighs a man down..." The only thing I am pretty sure I've ever gotten out of worrying is a few gray hairs.
I've been worrying lately. We have a lot of bills and debt. Our business is struggling. I can always worry about my kids. Jake rides his bike in traffic. Ethan still isn't totally settled in at his new school. It's been almost a year since the last time Victoria lost consciousness, are we due? Every time she gets sick, I worry. I think I've rebooted that old adrenal gland again too. I often wake up in the early morning hours with the overwhelming sense of anxiousness, and then I have to stop and decide, "what am I afraid of?" I have to come up with the source of the fear.
What about you? What is making you anxious today? Is it your finances? Your job? Are you worrying while you wait for those test results to come back? Is it the state of the economy? The state of your marriage? Bad news? Bad weather? Anxiety can be contagious. You can be feeling fine and someone starts to talk about something that worries them, identity theft, their children's safety, their investments, and human nature responds with the thought, "could that happen to me?"
And yet I am drawn back to the first scripture I shared. It's a command. The Lord says, "Be anxious for nothing..." I know how the rest of the passage goes, and when I feel the anxiety rising up, I do, I try to pray and focus, not in some Pollyanna foolishness, but because I know it's my only hope. If not in the Lord, then where lies my hope? It helps, it does, at least until anxiety tries again to rear its ugly head.
"Anxious for nothing..." Today I pulled up this passage to read it again and I looked at it in it's entirety. And something caught my eye I'd never noted before in its context. Not what comes after the command, but what comes before.
"The Lord is at hand."
Suddenly I realized it is not the prayer that resolves the trouble of anxiety, it is the knowledge that I, as a Christian, am not in this alone. Whatever it is that concerns me or overwhelms me is not mine to face alone. The Lord is here, right here, with me. I often hear a passage of scripture misquoted and it's a bit of a pet peeve with me. I have heard so many people say, with confidence. "I know the Lord doesn't give us more than we can bear." But it isn't true. What the bible says is that God will not give us more temptation than we can bear without making a way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:13), but He never said in life there would not be more than we could stand up under.
What he did say is this...
"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:29-30 (NKJV)
and...
"Be humble under God's powerful hand so He will lift you up when the right time comes. Give all your worries to Him, because He cares about you." 1 Peter 5:6-7 (NCV)
One of the things I love about my husband is that he is a gentleman. If he were walking and saw another weaker than him struggling with a load they were carrying, he would not even hesitate to take it from them and carry it for them, to lighten their load. Knowing his strength was greater, he would help them, and they would be foolish not to allow him to do it. Imagine if you will a little old lady trying to carry a television set or some such thing for herself. A man far stronger comes and offers to help and she refuses, you would think to yourself, what a fool.
And yet, isn't that what we do each day when we struggle carrying our anxiety and worries, overwhelmed and awkward beneath them, when there stands the Lord beside us, a true Gentleman offering to carry our load. Whatever the load, the Lord is big enough to carry it, and He is here, He is at hand.
Worry is sin. We miss the mark when we do it, and when we dwell in it, we hurt ourselve and hinder our walk with the Lord. He commands us not to be anxious, He tells us we don't have to because He is here, and that He cares for us. And yet the temptation to do so remains. Ahh, but what was that about temptation? God said he would make that way of escape. That is where the prayer comes in, the supplication with thanksgiving, it is our escape from the temptation to dwell in the worry and be ruled by anxiety and fear.
Anxiety and worry serve no good purpose but to draw us from the One who promises He will care for you, meet your needs, provide the way where there seems to be no way, and even in the darkest times, He promises to remain by your side and mine and see us through it all.
"Be anxious for nothing..."
"Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-8
It's a command of God, and a tall order to fill, very hard in times such as these. Everywhere you turn it seems the world is buckling under pressures beyond its control. The economy is bad, people's jobs are at risk, companies are closing, families filing bankruptcies. Yesterday here in Southern California the breaking news story in the morning was of a man who committed suicide after killing his wife and their five children. He sent a fax to the local news station indicating that his wife had planned everything and that both he and she had lost their jobs recently. Their anxiety must have been great.
Sources of anxiety are never lacking. This morning as I was laying in the chiropractor's office for what is supposed to be 7 minutes of relaxation, my mind started to reel. I could worry about my kids, our finances, our family's business, medical bills, our health. There's plenty to be anxious about.
Sometimes I think back to the years 2001-2004 when were battling out our child's adoption. We were on a veritable 24/7 anxiety cycle. In fact even after everything had been settled and it was finalized and irrevocable I had panic attacks for the months that followed. I would lay in bed at night and my heart would just rush. I found out later that it's not uncommon after a prolonged period of stress that your adrenal gland can actually misfire, and the panic attack comes because after having been on a sort of "high alert" for so long your body gets accustomed to being there. I would lay there in a cold sweat, so anxious. I suppose that was a different kind of "anxious for nothing."
The anxiety and worry it births really bring no good. Matthew 6:27 asks the question, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" The truth of the matter is that worry doesn't add anything to your life, but it can rob you of so much, your time, your peace, your hope. I wonder what the statistics are of how much we worry about actually coming to fruition. Worry reminds me of the old dog who is chasing his tail, he never really gets anywhere, but he certainly can wear himself out. Proverbs 12:25 says it like this, "An anxious heart weighs a man down..." The only thing I am pretty sure I've ever gotten out of worrying is a few gray hairs.
I've been worrying lately. We have a lot of bills and debt. Our business is struggling. I can always worry about my kids. Jake rides his bike in traffic. Ethan still isn't totally settled in at his new school. It's been almost a year since the last time Victoria lost consciousness, are we due? Every time she gets sick, I worry. I think I've rebooted that old adrenal gland again too. I often wake up in the early morning hours with the overwhelming sense of anxiousness, and then I have to stop and decide, "what am I afraid of?" I have to come up with the source of the fear.
What about you? What is making you anxious today? Is it your finances? Your job? Are you worrying while you wait for those test results to come back? Is it the state of the economy? The state of your marriage? Bad news? Bad weather? Anxiety can be contagious. You can be feeling fine and someone starts to talk about something that worries them, identity theft, their children's safety, their investments, and human nature responds with the thought, "could that happen to me?"
And yet I am drawn back to the first scripture I shared. It's a command. The Lord says, "Be anxious for nothing..." I know how the rest of the passage goes, and when I feel the anxiety rising up, I do, I try to pray and focus, not in some Pollyanna foolishness, but because I know it's my only hope. If not in the Lord, then where lies my hope? It helps, it does, at least until anxiety tries again to rear its ugly head.
"Anxious for nothing..." Today I pulled up this passage to read it again and I looked at it in it's entirety. And something caught my eye I'd never noted before in its context. Not what comes after the command, but what comes before.
"The Lord is at hand."
Suddenly I realized it is not the prayer that resolves the trouble of anxiety, it is the knowledge that I, as a Christian, am not in this alone. Whatever it is that concerns me or overwhelms me is not mine to face alone. The Lord is here, right here, with me. I often hear a passage of scripture misquoted and it's a bit of a pet peeve with me. I have heard so many people say, with confidence. "I know the Lord doesn't give us more than we can bear." But it isn't true. What the bible says is that God will not give us more temptation than we can bear without making a way of escape (1 Corinthians 10:13), but He never said in life there would not be more than we could stand up under.
What he did say is this...
"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." Matthew 11:29-30 (NKJV)
and...
"Be humble under God's powerful hand so He will lift you up when the right time comes. Give all your worries to Him, because He cares about you." 1 Peter 5:6-7 (NCV)
One of the things I love about my husband is that he is a gentleman. If he were walking and saw another weaker than him struggling with a load they were carrying, he would not even hesitate to take it from them and carry it for them, to lighten their load. Knowing his strength was greater, he would help them, and they would be foolish not to allow him to do it. Imagine if you will a little old lady trying to carry a television set or some such thing for herself. A man far stronger comes and offers to help and she refuses, you would think to yourself, what a fool.
And yet, isn't that what we do each day when we struggle carrying our anxiety and worries, overwhelmed and awkward beneath them, when there stands the Lord beside us, a true Gentleman offering to carry our load. Whatever the load, the Lord is big enough to carry it, and He is here, He is at hand.
Worry is sin. We miss the mark when we do it, and when we dwell in it, we hurt ourselve and hinder our walk with the Lord. He commands us not to be anxious, He tells us we don't have to because He is here, and that He cares for us. And yet the temptation to do so remains. Ahh, but what was that about temptation? God said he would make that way of escape. That is where the prayer comes in, the supplication with thanksgiving, it is our escape from the temptation to dwell in the worry and be ruled by anxiety and fear.
Anxiety and worry serve no good purpose but to draw us from the One who promises He will care for you, meet your needs, provide the way where there seems to be no way, and even in the darkest times, He promises to remain by your side and mine and see us through it all.
"Be anxious for nothing..."
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Feeling Funky
I don't mean it in the fun happy way, like I'm going to dress up in cool 80's clothes (ha, ha) and gonna hit the party circuit. I'm feeling like I'm in a funk, a little low and down trodden, and I hate it when I find myself at the mercy of my emotions.
This is my 6th day of feeling the pain of when I threw my hip and back out. It's been a long week of two steps forward, one step back. Even going to the chiropractor has a price, it hurts in the process and the pain lingers after, but I know it's critical to being back at 100 percent.
Actually that's one of the challenges, I wasn't at 100 percent before I threw my back out. I'm overweight and out of shape and have found myself continually falling to the bottom of a vicious circle. I don't feel good because I'm out of shape, and because I'm out of shape it's hard to do the things that will help me feel better. Now actually being injured is really frustrating because I have this fear of what getting into shape will cost me. And a fear of what not getting into shape will cost me.
This is the place in life where reality becomes skewed by circumstance. Circumstance lends itself to lead me to believe that this is the way things will always be. But my reality as a Christian is that things are never truly as bad as they may seem.
"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Sigh, I must remind myself yet again, my circumstances are not my reality. My reality is that I am not a random life wandering, ambling through a random series of events, but rather I am loved and created for purpose by the very Creator of the universe. But sometimes when we hit bumps in the road it's hard to maintain that focus.
I think a "funk" can be a lot like a fungus, it grows and spreads quickly. You get focused on one small negative, like a physical pain, and suddenly it's easy to see the negative in everything else. Bad moods morph into bad attitudes into bad outlooks. Suddenly you cannot see reality beyond the immediate circumstance. What starts as a sense of disheartenment sets you on a road to hopelessness, and that's a place no one wants to end up. It's a fork in the road of life that can lead to depression. I've been there before, and don't want to follow that road.
Perhaps that's why the bible says, "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8-9
There's really only one solution when the view is skewed, and that's to climb up above what is in front of you for a better view. As a Christian God's word is the perfect perch to climb upon and straighten out my view. It makes me sad when Christians, including me, forget that the Bible is more than just a book of historical accounts, it's both a map and a blueprint to live life by, filled with hope and promises, and most importantly a ladder above the circumstances.
Truth be told, I'm still feeling funky, but at least I know where the ladder is to climb up... as soon as my hip will cooperate.
This is my 6th day of feeling the pain of when I threw my hip and back out. It's been a long week of two steps forward, one step back. Even going to the chiropractor has a price, it hurts in the process and the pain lingers after, but I know it's critical to being back at 100 percent.
Actually that's one of the challenges, I wasn't at 100 percent before I threw my back out. I'm overweight and out of shape and have found myself continually falling to the bottom of a vicious circle. I don't feel good because I'm out of shape, and because I'm out of shape it's hard to do the things that will help me feel better. Now actually being injured is really frustrating because I have this fear of what getting into shape will cost me. And a fear of what not getting into shape will cost me.
This is the place in life where reality becomes skewed by circumstance. Circumstance lends itself to lead me to believe that this is the way things will always be. But my reality as a Christian is that things are never truly as bad as they may seem.
"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18
Sigh, I must remind myself yet again, my circumstances are not my reality. My reality is that I am not a random life wandering, ambling through a random series of events, but rather I am loved and created for purpose by the very Creator of the universe. But sometimes when we hit bumps in the road it's hard to maintain that focus.
I think a "funk" can be a lot like a fungus, it grows and spreads quickly. You get focused on one small negative, like a physical pain, and suddenly it's easy to see the negative in everything else. Bad moods morph into bad attitudes into bad outlooks. Suddenly you cannot see reality beyond the immediate circumstance. What starts as a sense of disheartenment sets you on a road to hopelessness, and that's a place no one wants to end up. It's a fork in the road of life that can lead to depression. I've been there before, and don't want to follow that road.
Perhaps that's why the bible says, "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8-9
There's really only one solution when the view is skewed, and that's to climb up above what is in front of you for a better view. As a Christian God's word is the perfect perch to climb upon and straighten out my view. It makes me sad when Christians, including me, forget that the Bible is more than just a book of historical accounts, it's both a map and a blueprint to live life by, filled with hope and promises, and most importantly a ladder above the circumstances.
Truth be told, I'm still feeling funky, but at least I know where the ladder is to climb up... as soon as my hip will cooperate.
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
Looking Up to the Good Samaritan
Then Jesus answered and said: “A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, who stripped him of his clothing, wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. Now by chance a certain priest came down that road. And when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. Likewise a Levite, when he arrived at the place, came and looked, and passed by on the other side. But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion. So he went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. On the next day, £when he departed, he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said to him, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I come again, I will repay you.’ So which of these three do you think was neighbor to him who fell among the thieves?”
And he said, “He who showed mercy on him.”
Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.” Luke 10:30-37
OK, this may seem like a stretch, but it's where my brain went yesterday afternoon. I kept thinking about this passage of scripture as my day went on. But for the first time I was focused on a different character in the story. Whenever I've read it before I have always focused on the driest, the Levite and the Samaritan, yesterday I found myself thinking about the wounded man.
Nobody beat me up, and I certainly wasn't left for dead on the street, but I did find myself badly wounded and on the ground, literally. Over the years I have had a lot of upper back and neck problems. Occasionally I have had some trouble with my right hip. Yesterday afternoon it all came to a head and as I was vacuuming the boys' room something horrible happened. I found out later that my hip and the L5 disc (?) in my back went out. All I can say is I'm not sure I've ever felt anything quite so painful. (Granted I had epidurals during both my deliveries.) First it was like this spasm, I knew something was going wrong, then I lost my right leg, I couldn't even feel it, and then pain, just intense pain.
Poor Jake came in and I couldn't even explain what was happening I just calling out,"oh my God, oh my God." And yes, it was at least partially a prayer. I finally got down on my knees sprawled out over the lower bunk then eventually prostrate on the ground. I had Jake trying to rub out the lower right side, then I tried turning back over, Victoria brought me ice at one point, it was nearly an hour of assorted positions and levels of pain, all severe. Eventually the kids kind of abandoned me. I was alone in my pain and suffering. My heart and mind were racing. I know I needed to get up but had no idea how to. Then my children's concern for me went completely by the wayside. When they came back it was for their own concerns. "Mom, can I have a snack?" I was trying desperately to get off the floor at that point. "Mom, Ethan won't let me have a turn." At that point I had made it back up to "sprawled on the bunk." I was a little direct with my daughter when I told her I couldn't be concerned about that right at that moment. Jake's initial concern had wavered, but honestly I can't remember exactly how now because so much of the pain was blinding. But Jake would definitely have been the one who played the role most closely to the good Samaritan in my story.
So this is what made me give thought to the man on the road in the story of the Good Samaritan, a somewhat supporting role in the story of the hero. Here's what I was thinking. Even in Jacob's very good intentions to help me, he had to hurt me. Grabbing hold of him hurt, lifting me to my feet was painful, even has he tried to rub out the spasm, he inflicted pain.
What about the good Samaritan? Surely as he cleaned the man's wounds there was pain. In all probability as he lifted him from the ground, holding him, there were bruised and broken places that he touched that caused pain. But what choice did he have?
It's rare that we see actual physically bruised and broken people on the streets around us. But what about the emotionally and spiritually wounded who we are doubtlessly surrounded by? What about them? The grieving, the disappointed, the betrayed?
Recently I have known a woman who has been suffering. And I have tried to come alongside her and lift her up, give her a view above her circumstances, help her to see who she is and the promises of God that are for her. But she's been bruised and broken by someone she loves. And as I have tried with good intentions to lift her up, I have figuratively "grabbed" in the bruised and broken places, unintentionally intensifying her pain. What is the answer then? Is it better to leave someone on the ground and in their pain?
Last night after the little kids had been put to bed Neal and Jake ran to the store for me. It was one of the errands on my list of things to do that hadn't gotten done because of my back. While they were gone I made the mistake of laying on the floor and then I could not get back up. Through great effort and pain I finally got up and even made it into the chair where I am sitting now. But when I tried to rise to my feet I couldn't. Tears were running down my cheeks, I was in such intense pain. Jacob came back and wanted to help me up. He had good intentions of getting my to my feet, but I had to push him away, the pain was more than I could, or at least was willing to bear. I needed him to wait until my desire to rise up outweighed my need resist the intensity of the pain.
It's a fine line of balance. Finding the place where we can help and the hurting can be helped. If we try to help before they're ready, we might make their pain worse. But also there is no healing found laying on the ground alone, at some point we have to push through it and rise up, but the when and how of that has to be determined by the one who feels the pain, not just the one who sees it.
And he said, “He who showed mercy on him.”
Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.” Luke 10:30-37
OK, this may seem like a stretch, but it's where my brain went yesterday afternoon. I kept thinking about this passage of scripture as my day went on. But for the first time I was focused on a different character in the story. Whenever I've read it before I have always focused on the driest, the Levite and the Samaritan, yesterday I found myself thinking about the wounded man.
Nobody beat me up, and I certainly wasn't left for dead on the street, but I did find myself badly wounded and on the ground, literally. Over the years I have had a lot of upper back and neck problems. Occasionally I have had some trouble with my right hip. Yesterday afternoon it all came to a head and as I was vacuuming the boys' room something horrible happened. I found out later that my hip and the L5 disc (?) in my back went out. All I can say is I'm not sure I've ever felt anything quite so painful. (Granted I had epidurals during both my deliveries.) First it was like this spasm, I knew something was going wrong, then I lost my right leg, I couldn't even feel it, and then pain, just intense pain.
Poor Jake came in and I couldn't even explain what was happening I just calling out,"oh my God, oh my God." And yes, it was at least partially a prayer. I finally got down on my knees sprawled out over the lower bunk then eventually prostrate on the ground. I had Jake trying to rub out the lower right side, then I tried turning back over, Victoria brought me ice at one point, it was nearly an hour of assorted positions and levels of pain, all severe. Eventually the kids kind of abandoned me. I was alone in my pain and suffering. My heart and mind were racing. I know I needed to get up but had no idea how to. Then my children's concern for me went completely by the wayside. When they came back it was for their own concerns. "Mom, can I have a snack?" I was trying desperately to get off the floor at that point. "Mom, Ethan won't let me have a turn." At that point I had made it back up to "sprawled on the bunk." I was a little direct with my daughter when I told her I couldn't be concerned about that right at that moment. Jake's initial concern had wavered, but honestly I can't remember exactly how now because so much of the pain was blinding. But Jake would definitely have been the one who played the role most closely to the good Samaritan in my story.
So this is what made me give thought to the man on the road in the story of the Good Samaritan, a somewhat supporting role in the story of the hero. Here's what I was thinking. Even in Jacob's very good intentions to help me, he had to hurt me. Grabbing hold of him hurt, lifting me to my feet was painful, even has he tried to rub out the spasm, he inflicted pain.
What about the good Samaritan? Surely as he cleaned the man's wounds there was pain. In all probability as he lifted him from the ground, holding him, there were bruised and broken places that he touched that caused pain. But what choice did he have?
It's rare that we see actual physically bruised and broken people on the streets around us. But what about the emotionally and spiritually wounded who we are doubtlessly surrounded by? What about them? The grieving, the disappointed, the betrayed?
Recently I have known a woman who has been suffering. And I have tried to come alongside her and lift her up, give her a view above her circumstances, help her to see who she is and the promises of God that are for her. But she's been bruised and broken by someone she loves. And as I have tried with good intentions to lift her up, I have figuratively "grabbed" in the bruised and broken places, unintentionally intensifying her pain. What is the answer then? Is it better to leave someone on the ground and in their pain?
Last night after the little kids had been put to bed Neal and Jake ran to the store for me. It was one of the errands on my list of things to do that hadn't gotten done because of my back. While they were gone I made the mistake of laying on the floor and then I could not get back up. Through great effort and pain I finally got up and even made it into the chair where I am sitting now. But when I tried to rise to my feet I couldn't. Tears were running down my cheeks, I was in such intense pain. Jacob came back and wanted to help me up. He had good intentions of getting my to my feet, but I had to push him away, the pain was more than I could, or at least was willing to bear. I needed him to wait until my desire to rise up outweighed my need resist the intensity of the pain.
It's a fine line of balance. Finding the place where we can help and the hurting can be helped. If we try to help before they're ready, we might make their pain worse. But also there is no healing found laying on the ground alone, at some point we have to push through it and rise up, but the when and how of that has to be determined by the one who feels the pain, not just the one who sees it.
Labels:
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recommended
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Puzzles and Glue
It's interesting to me how creative God is. So many people in the world, and no two are exactly alike. Even identical twins whose appearances are in fact so identical that even their own loved ones may be challenged to discern are each given their own distinctive personalities.
Truly it's the personality differences in people that I am reflecting upon today. There are so very many variables and such a wide range. You have the driven to the lazy, you have the "Type A's" to the total "go with the flow"-ers, those who must have every moment planned and those who live life in constant spontaneity. I am also reflecting on the fact that, in my own experience at least, so many polar opposites choose to commit their lives to one another in marriage.
I'm wondering what causes that to happen. Is it because they are drawn to something they don't find in themselves? Is it because it truly creates some sort of balance in the relationship? Are they just crazy? I mean, truly when you marry someone nothing like you, it has the potential to create a lot of drama and havoc, doesn't it?
Well, I don't want to sound all doomsday-ish. I married a man who is nothing like me, and almost 18 years later, I still want to be here, still love him dearly and am looking forward tot he days when it's just the two of us again. I love my kids, I'm not rushing, just like thinking about those days that I hope the Lord will bless us with many of.
I am a planner, to the core. If it isn't written down, it isn't going to happen. If I haven't had a couple days to mentally and emotionally prepare for it, it's probably not going to work for me. Neal on the other hand lives for the spontaneous. He would like nothing better than to just get in a car and drive, see where he ends up. We've done it a few times, not long trips but evening drives, and all I can think about is whether or not we might get lost, and if we find ourselves on a winding road, well, forget about it! That's tortuous!
I am a very critical thinker. I analyze everything and everyone, I am suspicious in nature and always wondering what someone else's motivation might be. Neal, on the other hand, always sees the best in people, and always gives them the benefit of the doubt. (I just give them the doubt.) He's one of those "never me a man he didn't like" types. (Who was that, was it Roy Rogers?)
There is an upside to the critical analytical mindset (I'm not all bad) in that I am a little like a boy scout, always prepared for any surprise that might come my way. Of the two of us, Neal is more likely to find himself "up the creek without a paddle." I'm more likely to have brought the spare.
I'll be honest, in the early years of our marriage the differences tended to cause some strife. When you have kids they become more challenging. But over the years we've learned to work together despite the differences. At times we've even learned to benefit from one another in our differences. (Like a wife who packs an extra paddle on a trip up the creek - that's handy!)
I think in my case I picked someone who I admire for (most of) the ways he's different from me. I like that Neal sees the good in people, I like his outgoing ways, and the way he's comfortable just being himself, not worrying about what other people think of him.
All the joys and challenges that come from the differences though are trumped by the things that are the same. Commitment. Neal and I are in it for the long haul. Good times or bad, hard times or sad, we are committed to our marriage and our family. Friendship. Neal and I are friends first. "Being in love" or at least feeling like it can be hard at times. When things are hard romance can be elusive, but friendship is what brings you alongside one another and helps you fight with each other in the trials instead of against each other. Faith in Christ. It's the Cornerstone of a good marriage, at least it is the cornerstone of our marriage. Knowing what you believe, in Whom you believe and believing it together, it's what makes the commitment and friendship possible. It's what keeps you together when it seems nothing else can.
A good marriage is being able to weather the storms, being determined to do it together at all costs. It is appreciating your differences, even celebrating them, and being able to build on common ground. You take two pieces that by appearance would probably never work, then you bring them closer and realize they are puzzle pieces and a perfect fit, then you glue them in place and they make a masterpiece to be admired.
Well, this isn't what I intended to blog on, but sometimes it goes where it goes... My original title when I started was "Black and White," guess that thought process will have to work itself out another day.
Truly it's the personality differences in people that I am reflecting upon today. There are so very many variables and such a wide range. You have the driven to the lazy, you have the "Type A's" to the total "go with the flow"-ers, those who must have every moment planned and those who live life in constant spontaneity. I am also reflecting on the fact that, in my own experience at least, so many polar opposites choose to commit their lives to one another in marriage.
I'm wondering what causes that to happen. Is it because they are drawn to something they don't find in themselves? Is it because it truly creates some sort of balance in the relationship? Are they just crazy? I mean, truly when you marry someone nothing like you, it has the potential to create a lot of drama and havoc, doesn't it?
Well, I don't want to sound all doomsday-ish. I married a man who is nothing like me, and almost 18 years later, I still want to be here, still love him dearly and am looking forward tot he days when it's just the two of us again. I love my kids, I'm not rushing, just like thinking about those days that I hope the Lord will bless us with many of.
I am a planner, to the core. If it isn't written down, it isn't going to happen. If I haven't had a couple days to mentally and emotionally prepare for it, it's probably not going to work for me. Neal on the other hand lives for the spontaneous. He would like nothing better than to just get in a car and drive, see where he ends up. We've done it a few times, not long trips but evening drives, and all I can think about is whether or not we might get lost, and if we find ourselves on a winding road, well, forget about it! That's tortuous!
I am a very critical thinker. I analyze everything and everyone, I am suspicious in nature and always wondering what someone else's motivation might be. Neal, on the other hand, always sees the best in people, and always gives them the benefit of the doubt. (I just give them the doubt.) He's one of those "never me a man he didn't like" types. (Who was that, was it Roy Rogers?)
There is an upside to the critical analytical mindset (I'm not all bad) in that I am a little like a boy scout, always prepared for any surprise that might come my way. Of the two of us, Neal is more likely to find himself "up the creek without a paddle." I'm more likely to have brought the spare.
I'll be honest, in the early years of our marriage the differences tended to cause some strife. When you have kids they become more challenging. But over the years we've learned to work together despite the differences. At times we've even learned to benefit from one another in our differences. (Like a wife who packs an extra paddle on a trip up the creek - that's handy!)
I think in my case I picked someone who I admire for (most of) the ways he's different from me. I like that Neal sees the good in people, I like his outgoing ways, and the way he's comfortable just being himself, not worrying about what other people think of him.
All the joys and challenges that come from the differences though are trumped by the things that are the same. Commitment. Neal and I are in it for the long haul. Good times or bad, hard times or sad, we are committed to our marriage and our family. Friendship. Neal and I are friends first. "Being in love" or at least feeling like it can be hard at times. When things are hard romance can be elusive, but friendship is what brings you alongside one another and helps you fight with each other in the trials instead of against each other. Faith in Christ. It's the Cornerstone of a good marriage, at least it is the cornerstone of our marriage. Knowing what you believe, in Whom you believe and believing it together, it's what makes the commitment and friendship possible. It's what keeps you together when it seems nothing else can.
A good marriage is being able to weather the storms, being determined to do it together at all costs. It is appreciating your differences, even celebrating them, and being able to build on common ground. You take two pieces that by appearance would probably never work, then you bring them closer and realize they are puzzle pieces and a perfect fit, then you glue them in place and they make a masterpiece to be admired.
Well, this isn't what I intended to blog on, but sometimes it goes where it goes... My original title when I started was "Black and White," guess that thought process will have to work itself out another day.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Why Don't They Fly?
This morning after I dropped Ethan off for his 9 am karate class I decided to make a quick run to Wal-Mart (which turned into a quick run to Wal-mart and Target) before I had to be home at 9:45 to pick up Jake to take him to his 10 am karate class. So needless to say I was pressed for time, and I was rushing. I needed to pick up laundry supplies and some new hampers.
As I was riding in my car this morning I was listening to a CD that an acquaintance gave me. He's the father of one of Victoria's classmates and at a few birthday parties and on the campus we've had a few conversations, as well as with my husband and his wife. Nice guy, and an associate pastor at a local church. It's clear our belief systems are very much in line. Yesterday he gave me the CD which was of a message his pastor gave recently in their church. I thought it was kind of interesting that through just a few primarily casual conversations he thought I should hear a particular sermon. It intrigued me.
The title of the sermon was "Prosperity in Adversity." I hadn't actually gotten to hear very much of it by the time I arrived at Wal-mart (though I can now tell you it was all very good), but I had heard something that I liked. At the beginning of his sermon the pastor had everyone in the congregation lift up their bible and together they recited a sort of mantra. I can't quote it verbatim, but they made a faith declaration together along the lines of, "this is MY bible, this is God's word to ME, this is Truth, and I am who it says I am, and I can do what it says I can do, God's promises are sure, and I can trust this Word." I am totally blowing the actual quote, but the sentiment is close, and in the true fashion of the Holy Spirit speaking, it's what I took into my heart.
So back to my story, I had parked the car and I was hustling through the parking lot trying to get inside quickly. As I was walking there were these two little birds on the ground in front of me, walking... they were trying to walk ahead of me rather than get run down by my quick moving feet. As I got closer they seemed to struggle into little birdie runs, but they were struggling. And I thought to myself, "why don't they just fly??"
It was one of those moments of revelation, and I felt like I heard the Lord say, "Yeah, why don't my people just fly?"
How often do we as Christians seem to forget who we are and what God wants to accomplish in our lives? We forget all we have. We get caught up in life and circumstance and get bogged down by it instead of remembering who we are in Christ.
A bird's ability to fly seems like a miracle of sorts to me. God really is an incredible designer the way he's made this little creature able to completely defy gravity and at will move his wings and soar into the sky. As a person I could stand and flap my arms all day and never make it an inch off of the ground, but we can flap our spiritual wings but instead we do our little people run, overwhelmed and flustered looking for the easiest and quickest out, forgetting all the promises and all the assurances that we have.
We can soar. The Bible says so. This is what the bible says in Isaiah 40 verses 28-31:
"Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."
So how do we wait upon the Lord? For starters we need to know His Word, because it's there they we discover who God says we are, "a royal priesthood, a chosen generation" (1 Peter 2:9); and we learn what He says we can do, "all things through Christ who strengthens us" (Philippians 4:13). When we wait upon the Lord we realize that we have promises that we can build our lives upon, we have guarantees.
"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
As it is written: 'For Your sake we are killed all day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.'
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:31-38
WOW! God is for us! He is on our side! He has promised to meet all of our needs (Matthew 6:25-34), according to HIS riches (Philippians 4:19), not restricted by our circumstances. I have said it a thousand times (most often to remind myself) "Our circumstances are NOT our reality!" Each and everyone of us who have accepted Christ and his sacrifice for our salvation have a hope and promise, we are made for a good purpose and His intentions toward us our good. As our faith is perfected, as we grow in that knowledge and understanding, suddenly, we find ourselves, defying gravity, and we are able to soar, "with wings like eagles."
Be encouraged, remember who you are in Christ today, and whatever you may be facing, however daunting it may seem, place your hope in Him, wait upon Him in faith and confidence, and you will find yourself soaring.
As I was riding in my car this morning I was listening to a CD that an acquaintance gave me. He's the father of one of Victoria's classmates and at a few birthday parties and on the campus we've had a few conversations, as well as with my husband and his wife. Nice guy, and an associate pastor at a local church. It's clear our belief systems are very much in line. Yesterday he gave me the CD which was of a message his pastor gave recently in their church. I thought it was kind of interesting that through just a few primarily casual conversations he thought I should hear a particular sermon. It intrigued me.
The title of the sermon was "Prosperity in Adversity." I hadn't actually gotten to hear very much of it by the time I arrived at Wal-mart (though I can now tell you it was all very good), but I had heard something that I liked. At the beginning of his sermon the pastor had everyone in the congregation lift up their bible and together they recited a sort of mantra. I can't quote it verbatim, but they made a faith declaration together along the lines of, "this is MY bible, this is God's word to ME, this is Truth, and I am who it says I am, and I can do what it says I can do, God's promises are sure, and I can trust this Word." I am totally blowing the actual quote, but the sentiment is close, and in the true fashion of the Holy Spirit speaking, it's what I took into my heart.
So back to my story, I had parked the car and I was hustling through the parking lot trying to get inside quickly. As I was walking there were these two little birds on the ground in front of me, walking... they were trying to walk ahead of me rather than get run down by my quick moving feet. As I got closer they seemed to struggle into little birdie runs, but they were struggling. And I thought to myself, "why don't they just fly??"
It was one of those moments of revelation, and I felt like I heard the Lord say, "Yeah, why don't my people just fly?"
How often do we as Christians seem to forget who we are and what God wants to accomplish in our lives? We forget all we have. We get caught up in life and circumstance and get bogged down by it instead of remembering who we are in Christ.
A bird's ability to fly seems like a miracle of sorts to me. God really is an incredible designer the way he's made this little creature able to completely defy gravity and at will move his wings and soar into the sky. As a person I could stand and flap my arms all day and never make it an inch off of the ground, but we can flap our spiritual wings but instead we do our little people run, overwhelmed and flustered looking for the easiest and quickest out, forgetting all the promises and all the assurances that we have.
We can soar. The Bible says so. This is what the bible says in Isaiah 40 verses 28-31:
"Have you not known? Have you not heard? The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary. His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the weak, and to those who have no might He increases strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall, but those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."
So how do we wait upon the Lord? For starters we need to know His Word, because it's there they we discover who God says we are, "a royal priesthood, a chosen generation" (1 Peter 2:9); and we learn what He says we can do, "all things through Christ who strengthens us" (Philippians 4:13). When we wait upon the Lord we realize that we have promises that we can build our lives upon, we have guarantees.
"What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us. 35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?
As it is written: 'For Your sake we are killed all day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.'
Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:31-38
WOW! God is for us! He is on our side! He has promised to meet all of our needs (Matthew 6:25-34), according to HIS riches (Philippians 4:19), not restricted by our circumstances. I have said it a thousand times (most often to remind myself) "Our circumstances are NOT our reality!" Each and everyone of us who have accepted Christ and his sacrifice for our salvation have a hope and promise, we are made for a good purpose and His intentions toward us our good. As our faith is perfected, as we grow in that knowledge and understanding, suddenly, we find ourselves, defying gravity, and we are able to soar, "with wings like eagles."
Be encouraged, remember who you are in Christ today, and whatever you may be facing, however daunting it may seem, place your hope in Him, wait upon Him in faith and confidence, and you will find yourself soaring.
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