Saturday, January 24, 2009

Feeling Funky

I don't mean it in the fun happy way, like I'm going to dress up in cool 80's clothes (ha, ha) and gonna hit the party circuit. I'm feeling like I'm in a funk, a little low and down trodden, and I hate it when I find myself at the mercy of my emotions.

This is my 6th day of feeling the pain of when I threw my hip and back out. It's been a long week of two steps forward, one step back. Even going to the chiropractor has a price, it hurts in the process and the pain lingers after, but I know it's critical to being back at 100 percent.

Actually that's one of the challenges, I wasn't at 100 percent before I threw my back out. I'm overweight and out of shape and have found myself continually falling to the bottom of a vicious circle. I don't feel good because I'm out of shape, and because I'm out of shape it's hard to do the things that will help me feel better. Now actually being injured is really frustrating because I have this fear of what getting into shape will cost me. And a fear of what not getting into shape will cost me.

This is the place in life where reality becomes skewed by circumstance. Circumstance lends itself to lead me to believe that this is the way things will always be. But my reality as a Christian is that things are never truly as bad as they may seem.

"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal." 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Sigh, I must remind myself yet again, my circumstances are not my reality. My reality is that I am not a random life wandering, ambling through a random series of events, but rather I am loved and created for purpose by the very Creator of the universe. But sometimes when we hit bumps in the road it's hard to maintain that focus.

I think a "funk" can be a lot like a fungus, it grows and spreads quickly. You get focused on one small negative, like a physical pain, and suddenly it's easy to see the negative in everything else. Bad moods morph into bad attitudes into bad outlooks. Suddenly you cannot see reality beyond the immediate circumstance. What starts as a sense of disheartenment sets you on a road to hopelessness, and that's a place no one wants to end up. It's a fork in the road of life that can lead to depression. I've been there before, and don't want to follow that road.

Perhaps that's why the bible says, "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you." Philippians 4:8-9

There's really only one solution when the view is skewed, and that's to climb up above what is in front of you for a better view. As a Christian God's word is the perfect perch to climb upon and straighten out my view. It makes me sad when Christians, including me, forget that the Bible is more than just a book of historical accounts, it's both a map and a blueprint to live life by, filled with hope and promises, and most importantly a ladder above the circumstances.

Truth be told, I'm still feeling funky, but at least I know where the ladder is to climb up... as soon as my hip will cooperate.

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