"Don't chase an experience." He said.
I was stagnate where I was, in my church, in my faith, even in my life. And I was desperate-- desperate for Him. And I wanted so much to hear from Him. I wanted for a "red phone" call where the heavens would part, my face would be held in His hands and God would speak directly to me, about me, and open my eyes with understanding.
Direct my path.
Affirm my faith.
Strengthen my confidence.
Just give me a hug from heaven.
Sometimes it happens. Sometimes it happens without even asking. But most of the time, it doesn't.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope. (v.11)
Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. (v.12)
Sigh, I've heard that first verse a thousand times. I've recited myself, sometimes with intensity into the mirror as I struggle with life, anxiety, and fear for my future. Everybody stops at the end of verse 11. But 12 is my favorite. But 13 is the command.
...when you search for Me with all your heart.
Maybe that's the key to the red phone.
Maybe that's why God told me not to seek an experience.
He wants me to seek Him.
With my whole heart... my divided, broken, tempted human heart.
When You said, “Seek My face,”
My heart said to You, “Your face, Lord, I will seek.”
God help me, that's my heart's desire.... Show me, tell me, please God...
call me on the red phone.