Friday, November 2, 2012

Not Alone

I've been battling with my blogging here at My Walk of Faith. I've been trying hard to get a blog written-- in large part out of commitment to my advertisers, but not only for that reason. God has been teaching me so much, and I feel like I am in such a good season. Being in the word every morning has such a powerful impact. The fact that study has been on the book of James only intensifies the matter. "Live what you believe is the message," and it has just reinforced my desire to live my life of faith openly and transparently. And yes several times I have tried to (metaphorically) put the pen to paper here, but to no avail.

I have several blogs, one about my family, another about my struggles with weight loss, another where I show some of my creative works-- but each of these feel more like a hobby. The one dearest to my heart is this blog, it feels like a mission. The other blogs are glimpses into aspects of my life, this blog is the exposure of my very soul.

One thing that has happened for me as I've gone through Beth Moore's study on the book of James (which I sadly completed this morning) has been a sense of reassurance. It's been in the mix of the little off hand remarks she made through her video teachings that have ministered deeply to my soul. It's good to know I'm not the only one who struggles with certain issues for those inclined to share and to teach. To know that someone I admire as much as I do her (without actually putting her on any sort of pedestal) makes me feel a little less badly about my own battles and shortcomings. Even the typos in her book make me feel a little better about my own novel and its errors. It's funny how much just the sense of camaraderie can be an encouragement.

I think that's always been my heart behind this blog, to expose a little of the "warts and all" of life to maybe help others realize they aren't the "only ones." They aren't the only ones who struggle with a short temper, or yelling at their kids. They aren't the one who have to battle through bitterness and unforgiveness. They aren't the only ones who struggle with a tongue to sharp or words too caustic at times. They aren't the only ones who struggle with trusting God when things get tough even in the little things. They aren't the only ones who sometimes get off track and lose their way. That's why I write this blog-- in hopes that somebody out there will maybe stumble across it and realize they aren't the only ones.

The other reason I write this blog is because I know Jesus is the answer to all of those things. He is the one who can change us from the inside out, makes us braver, wiser, stronger, better tempered. He is the one who can grow fruit in our lives that all amounts of effort and intention will never accomplish. He is the One who will gives us the faith we need in hard times, and will show up just to prove we were right to trust Him. And He is the One who pours out the grace upon us when we still fumble, falter and fail-- miserably.

This Walk of Faith we Christians are called to walk isn't easy. It's not simple or uncomplicated. It's like a three-legged race with our flesh and our spirit and both members of the "team" are running for two different goal lines. Some days my spirit is weak and I move miserably to the goal line that my flesh is seeking after. Other days my spirit is strong, abiding in Christ, drawing power from the One who came to give me abundant life, and the spirit moves mightily toward its victory. It makes me realize that only one side of the tethered pair can actually "win the race." And it's all about one side forcing the other into absolute submission. They can't both be strong, one has to steal the other of its power if they want to get to their goal.

This blog is about encouraging the spirit side in each and every reader who stops to read what I have to say. I hope that I have accomplished that.

I don't know what the future holds for this blog. I'm praying to God and asking Him for His direction. I know that things are often (usually) seasonal in life, and I just don't know if the season for this blog has come to an end. Part of me really hopes not, but another part of me thinks perhaps it is time for change. I just don't know yet exactly what that means. But as long as I am still here and able to blog, I hope that you know, you are not alone in your struggles-- there are others of us like you who find the Walk of Faith a challenging one. And no matter how hard it gets, Jesus is there to see us through-- in that, find the greatest comfort of all.

1 comment:

JESSICA RENSHAW said...

Diana, I really need this today. "Not the only one." Thank you. Some days I just don't want to leave the house, or even the bedroom, because I know I will probably hurt someone with what I say or the way I say it or how much I say or what I don't say. I "hold up my shield of faith" (even literally hold my arm across me) so the fiery darts of self-condemnation can't get through but so many do. . . Please don't go. Your blog is important to at least one person--me!