It's been three weeks since I wrote the verses down in my notebook, and two since the last time I updated the board in our kitchen. These last couple weeks it's been Wednesday or Thursday before I even thought about going over the verses with my children, and because most of the verses in these past few weeks have been somewhat familiar to me, I have not put in much effort at all at memorizing or meditating.
When we started this Challenge back in September there were 217 of us. But when the New Year turned and I had to make a new "event" on Facebook, only 66 joined in- and some of them were new people, not returning participants. Truth be told, I have no idea how many of the 66 are legitimately participating in learning the verses. If I actually accounted for how many people I know are actively participating in the Challenge, I could count them on one hand, maybe two.
The fact is, I am struggling a lot lately, A. LOT. LATELY. And I'm getting a little tired of it, a little tired of myself. But the sense of ineffectiveness can be overwhelming. I'm reevaluating practically everything in my life. Reevaluating may not be the right word, surveying might be more accurate. This blog is included in that. I'm not going to stop writing it, the Lord told me to start it, so until He tells me to stop, I can't. I won't. But I am completely uncertain about what it has become and what people's response is to it. I think... fear... it has become like the sound of traffic, a better example, the "grown up voices" in Charlie Brown cartoons, and no one is even listening anymore. I need to evaluate that.
I am thinking about taking the blog off of my personal Facebook. If you've liked the My Walk of Faith page on Facebook, it won't affect you, but if you haven't, then you will no longer have to be inundated with my postings anymore. I'm hopng it will dull the "waah wah wah waah wah" I believe my voice has become. I guess that's my hope. If people want to be reading this blog, there are options, liking the Facebook page (link in the right column); subscribing by mail (top of the left side column) or becoming a follower through google reader (right column.)
I'm not quitting the Challenge. I think it has great value. And even though the posts are not getting a lot of response, I know the way true ministry works, and I know in God's eyes, if something impacts even one person, it matters to the Lord. So even if it is only five or so people who are actually tracking the Challenge verses, it's a worthy effort. So consider this week a week to catch up. I'm going to catch up in my little notebook and next week make a fresh start with my board in the kitchen. Whether it will mean we add a week to the Challenge or i we have a week or two with extra verses will remain to be seen, but I don't think anyone was dead set on the "end date" I have on my calendar that no one else ever sees.
So my "executive decision" for the Challenge is simply a pause, a week's break. If you are participating, and are up to date, enjoy the break, or pick out one of the earlier verses that particularly spoke to you and meditate on it. If you're behind you can work on catching up (like I plan to do) or you can enjoy the week off and make a fresh start again next week. Either way, the Challenge will continue on next week. I hope to see you here.