A Mother's Thoughts

Who Will I Be?

When it’s quiet and the day is settled
And I find myself sitting here alone,
I wonder when you look back someday
What part of me you’ll have known?

Will the words of anger and frustration,
Be all that ring in your ears?
Or will I have cheered you on
Enough through all the years?

Do you really know
All the good I see in you?
Or do you only hear the criticisms
As we muddle through?

My heart hurts when I realize,
All the poorly chosen words I’ve said.
Wishing I’d chosen patience
And words of grace instead.

I wonder about your heart,
Is it aching too?
I hope and pray tomorrow,
I’ll know better what to do.

This challenge we call motherhood,
It’s a battle all uphill.
I’m determined to train and teach,
To lead you in God’s will.

But sometimes I get my will in the way
Of God’s good plan becoming known
Forgetting it’s not for me to mold you,
But just to help you learn and grow.

I don’t always like the process,
Or even all I see in you.
But it never changes the fact,
That my love for you is true.

Who will I be when you look back
Over all the years we’ll share?
Will you only remember my frustration?
Or be confident of my care?

As I fail you and I falter,
I pray God will meet us there.
Covering us with grace and mercy,
Answering every prayer.

And I will pray that the Father,
Will cover my failure with His grace,
And if only one thing will you learn from me,
May it be to continually seek His face.

And I pray when you look back,
That’s the person that I will be,
Not competent or perfect,
Just forgiven and set free.

I pray I’ll have shown you Jesus,
Forgiver of my sins and yours,
The Healer of every hurt,
And our connection He’ll restore.

The multitude of my sins,
I pray will be covered by true love.
Overshadowed by grace and mercy
Flowing down from our God above.

And I pray when you look back
To answer “Who was my mother?” .
You’ll think fondly of this woman,
Who loves you like no other.

By Diana DePriest
© May 15, 2010