My heart's desire is that this blog would be a place of inspiration and insight, maybe on occasion even a little inciting, but recently it's been quiet, silent even, because I felt neither inspired, or inspiration and don't have much insight on anything. And inciting anything right now just seems like a really bad idea.
I'm struggling right now, feeling stuck and discouraged; frustrated and misunderstood. Life seems at an impasse.
Tonight I'm thinking about the old adage, "Fake it till you make it." Honestly it kind of came to me last night during Growth Group discussion at church. I saw the principle expressed in Colossians 3:12. From memory (a scripture memomry song) it says, "God's chosen people, clothe yourselves in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience." What? Where? How did I get "fake it till you make it" out of that? Two words, "clothe yourselves." Another version says "put on" and as I was reading it last night I found a little freedom and relief in the fact that it didn't say "be." It took a little pressure off. Because right now, I'm not feeling like I am many of these things, if any.
Now I am actually not a fan of anything even remotely "fake." I have no time and little tolerance for it. I don't go for empty flattery, or schmoozing, I don't want someone to come up to me and be nice to my face only to trash me behind my back. I like straight shooting, and try my best to usually be a straight shooter. But I digress. My point is starting to get lost, what I was trying to say was that this "clothing" oneself isn't about being fake, it's about action preceding attitude. Sometimes you have to do it first and wait for the feeling to follow.
Most of the time I am believer that we must watch our attitudes because they will influence our actions, but sometimes when our attitudes are struggling, or worse unruly, we can use our actions as a tool to curb our attitudes, to correct them. It takes diligence, and purposefulness, but it can be effective.
Sigh, I'm not actually sure where this all came from. When I started the this post this is not where my mind was, but as the writing has gone on this is where it's led. I'm not sure if it's a pep talk or a rebuke, but it's something to chew on a little longer.