Thursday, October 23, 2008

Breaking Out

I'm a chronic struggler I think. Perhaps I have a bit of melancholy in my attitude as a whole. I do know I see the negative in things and have to try hard not to be critical. (Strongly evidenced that I lectured Jake on the way to church last night about not studying hard enough in Biology, even if he still got an A- on his test.)

At church last night during worship our pastor's wife opened up a time of ministry for people to come forward for prayer if they were struggling with discouragement, depression or other bondages. (Read my last post.) And I would have gone forward to get prayer, possibly, but she specifically called Neal and I out to come forward to pray for others. I know things don't happen haphazardly, and I trust both Carol and God that I need to be submissive in those things. And the truth of the matter is, I know my feelings are not my reality. Even if I don't feel like I am the one who should be praying, I cannot let that stop me. We cannot serve God according to our moods. (Ouch.)

I was privileged to pray for a dear friend. I was privileged to get to pray with my husband in a ministry setting. I remember back when we used to have parties here at the house and on a few occasions we walked through and laid hands and prayed over every guest before they left. I remember doing those things with the youth when we were youth group leaders too.

Carol talked about "living below the pay grade" as a Christian. About how often we live like we are paupers in this world, forgetting the vastness of eternal wealth that we hold. I am guilty of that.

This morning I got up for the first time in a while to read and pray. I'm very out of practice, and only spent a few minutes, but as our pastor preached last weekend, 5 minutes is better than nothing. And he has full confidence the time will grow. I do too, but I got up and spent a little time this morning with no obligation to meet any criteria, just to connect with the Lord first thing.

I felt led to read Proverbs 8 which talks about the importance of wisdom, and the gift that it is. It is also something I feel like I have been lacking lately. Wisdom is knowledge applied, and I have the knowledge, but I haven't been the best about applying it lately.

Then I went to Psalm 78 to find a particular scripture in verse 4.

"We will not hide them from their children, telling to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, and His strength and His wonderful works that He has done"

I have decided for the next couple days, or weeks, or however long it develops, I want to backtrack in life a little and proclaim some of the things the Lord has done, share testimony, to pass on to my children, or the children of God's generation. The primary purpose however will be to remind myself how good God has been to me. He is faithful, even when I am faithless. So stay tuned, I plan to tell of His wonderful works.

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