Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Proud Mama or Naked Me - Ah, Maybe Both

OK, so I have been battling. I know I'm the only mom out there who obsesses over her children, how they are doing, whether they are liked, if people are being nice to them... catch my breath... the list goes on and on. I know, it's just me, and not one of you can relate.

My latest obsession (possession?) has been over Ethan's new 2nd grade teacher. I came from a school where the teachers were my friends. And if they weren't my friends, they certainly faked it really well. (Kidding, I know we were friends.) It was a school where we could drop in anytime, the teachers were always super open, and ALWAYS encouraging. It was the paradise of school experiences. Law and order existed, but love abounded more.

Now I am in a new place, a different place, a bit more usual place, I suspect. And it's got love, the principal is wonderful, very loving, but somehow law and order seem to take precedent. I am certain the love is there, and I have even seen it a little, especially in Victoria's classroom, but compared to what I have known, there is great restraint. (And truthfully a few mean mommies on campus too!)

So I have been watching Ethan's teacher from what seems (seemed?) to me the designated distance. At the "Meet and Greet" when I asked about homework I was told I'd "get the info at Back to School Night" (which is still more than a week away, come on.) At the end of the first day when I asked how "our first day went" I was told, "it was definitely a first day, I'm sure things will get better." Ouch! I suddenly flashed back to early Sunday school days when I just quit asking how Ethan did because I was afraid of the answer. Back in those days it was because Ethan was all boy, challenged to be caged in small quarters for long services. But I can honestly say he has outgrown that, and he's a really good kid. His first grade and kindergarten teachers used words like, "loving, tender-hearted, kind and prayer warrior to describe him." And when we were driving to school this morning I asked (yes, I know, I have crossed so many lines...) "Ethan, does your teacher yell?" His reply, "Yeah." "What does she say when she yells?" "She yells, 'Stop it!'" "Has she ever yelled at you?" "No." (And I will admit, that made it better for me.)

So I have been watching. Ethan's assigned seat in morning assembly is right next to his teacher. Lots of mornings I wouldn't see her even really greet him. (Ok, day 5 of school just ended, so "lots" is a relative term.) She seemed to hug the girls more... was she one of those teachers who didn't like little boys? (They are out there, just so you know.) One day when I picked him up I saw him ask her if he could go to me (I was waiting outside) and she barked "No!" Gasp! (And yes, bark may be my interpretation...) My poor baby... (I'm nuts, aren't I?)

This morning he wanted to go greet his friend Cole who also came from Creekside (they got split up in 2 different classes.) There were 4 minutes till assembly started but she told him "no" when he asked. Sniff! Other kids were running all around, and he was going to be penalized for asking?? I was so distraught I went over and walked him to Cole myself. (bad mommy, bad, bad mommy!)

By the time I left the school this morning I was totally wound up. Neal suggested (because I called him as I left), "let's confront her Back to School Night." Oh right, like I need her to know how neurotic I am?? But by lunch time I could take it no more, so I sent her a little email. "Just checking in, not getting clear feedback from Ethan, we're still adjusting, please let me know if all is well..." I would call it a "friendly little email," but let's just be honest it was fraught with ulterior motivation.

So tonight after dinner, I went in and checked my email, and this was her reply...

Dear Mrs. DePriest,

Thanks for checking in with me regarding Ethan! How is the adjusting phase going for your family? Are there any questions I can help you with or someone I can direct you to that can help?

Ethan is doing well at school. He is completing his work in class. Yay! I have also noticed that he appears to be making friends quickly which I am excited to see. The only thing I have noted is that at times he can be a bit chatty when he should be on task but I was very impressed with him today. He requested that he be moved in line so that he wasn't tempted to stand next to a fellow student he knew he would talk to. He impressed me with his wise choice and the way he handled the situation when I talked with him.

I think just keep praising him for his wise choices and encourage him to stay on task when in school. I enjoy having him in my class and I'm glad he's at Vineyard this year! Always feel free to contact me with any questions or concerns you have.

Have a nice evening!

Sweet, huh? OK, so I am just going to confess the part that got my attention the most was the "at times he can be a bit chatty..." What is my problem?

This poor teacher, she doesn't even know what she's been put through by this crazy, neurotic, messed up mother. Isn't it funny how when we don't take thoughts captive they can just completely take on their own destructive crazy life? How DOES God put up with me?

So, anyway, I'm really proud of my seven-year-old for making a wise choice and asking for help to skirt the problem before it escalated. Maybe I could learn a thing or two from him... One can only hope! (Note to Katherine: I know you are totally laughing right now, it's like 4th grade ALL OVER AGAIN! You just wait till you ride this experience from this side of the line!)

There, now my neuroses are fully exposed, hence the contemplation of changing the name of this blog from My Walk of Faith to simply, Naked Me! Love me or laugh at me, or even love to laugh at me, just don't point when you do it!

1 comment:

Katherine said...

You are hysterical, Diana.( In a funny way!) Bless your heart . . . I understand, though. I am already concerned about what kind of paranoid mom I am going to be when it comes to school! Sounds like she is handling Ethan just great and it sounds like Ethan is is the sdame great guy he has always been!