Hunger & Thirst

Last night as I was heading to bed, I grabbed the bottle of water that was sitting next to my bed and took a good long swig. I was super thirsty.

As I drank in the cool wet goodness, it occurred to me, I had just a moment before thrown out the cup from the Big Gulp, correction Super Big Gulp Mountain Dew I had been nursing all night long.

What struck me was the way that one good swallow of pure water did far more to quench my thirst than an entire 44 ounces of the sugar filled, sodium laden, caffeine charged Mountain Dew had. And immediately the Father took it a little deeper with me.

He made me look face to face at the struggles I've been having over the last few weeks with my weight. I've gained ten horrible pounds, and my heart has been weighed down with every ounce of them.

It's been a heavy weight on my heart (no pun intended) not only because of the gigantic steps in the wrong direction on my desire to be healthy and strong, but also because it comes so quickly after such a huge victory when I was able to fast for 4 whole days during the week of prayer and fasting at my church.

Now mind you, that fasting was not at all about a diet, or losing weight, but it absolutely was about the ability to overcome the flesh and rely on the spirit by abiding in the Holy Spirit. When I fasted that week, I know that I know that I know I was only able to do it because God helped me and equipped me. And now for the life of me, I have not been able to stop stuffing my face, all the while, knowing the consequences, knowing the harm, knowing even my own disappointment in myself. Still I feed a hunger that isn't even really there.

Or is it?

That's what occurred to me as I took that drink of cool water. My body thirsted, and instead of giving it what would satisfy, I gave it something false, something that isn't even meant to quench my thirst at all. Despite Coca Cola's claim to being the "Real Thing," I would be willing to bet that although sodas and the like may momentarily satisfy thirst, it's the sodium and other ingredients in it that make us long for more. And we keep drinking in and never find ourselves fully satisfied.

As I set the bottle of water back down and walked into my bathroom, I stood in front of my full length mirror, and I could see the ten pounds. It's not enough to be noticed by everyone, but I see it, and I feel it when I try to pull on my pants. I feel the sense of tightness inside of me as I continue to eat even when I'm not really hungry.

The Lord quickened my heart in that moment, that my hunger I've been feeding has indeed been real, the only problem is, I have been feeding a spiritual hunger with a physical answer. The food I have stuffed into the point of discomfort has been to satisfy something that food is incapable of satisfying.

How often do we do that in our lives?

Have you ever had a really big meal, the kind that you can just barely push yourself away from the table after? Maybe on Thanksgiving or at some other celebration? In that moment you think you may never be hungry again. I don't know why I'm always surprised to wake up the next morning to a growling stomach. I think what happens is that we have stretched our stomach's capacity and the stretched out space is empty and hunger comes. If we keep feeding it, we keep gaining weight and we set down an unhealthy path.

I think that week I spent really seeking God and abiding in Him, I stretched out my spiritual stomach. I increased my capacity for wanting more of Him. But unlike feeding a stretched out physical stomach and risking weight gain and such, increasing your hunger for God is a good thing.

It is good to hunger and thirst for the Lord.

My problem is this, instead of reaching for the bread of life, and living water to satisfy those cravings, I have been settling for cupcakes and Mountain Dew. And because of it, my physical stomach satiates sickly, and my spiritual hunger remains unsatisfied, and every time I make the wrong choice, I weaken my starving spirit, and I push myself into a place of discouragement and dissatisfaction that then keeps me from reaching out for what I truly need.

Maybe it isn't food for you and the parallel is harder to see. But are you stuffing your spiritual hunger and thirst for God with other things? Whatever it may be, substances, relationships, activities - it's all just Mountain Dew and ding dongs for your spiritual hunger. It won't satisfy, and it may do damage that you have to work hard to undo.

So stop, ponder your yearning inside. We all have the spiritual hunger and thirst inside, I know because God placed it there, because He yearns for us too. He wants our all, our whole hearts, minds souls and strengths - these are His desires, His longings, for our good and His glory. But we must seek Him to find the true satisfaction, and then we must eat and drink deeply, for the Lord will satisfy.

..."but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life.”
John 4:14

Oh, taste and see that the LORD is good;Blessed is the man who trusts in Him!Psalm 34:8

And Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life. He who comes to Me shall never hunger, and he who believes in Me shall never thirst.
John 6:35

Am I Listening?

California has been having some funny weather. After a mild summer we've had a severe heat wave, and then the last couple days it's been strange with thunderstorms and lightning.

Yesterday I found myself stuck at home because of a break down with my car. While I awaited Triple A, we had a sudden crazy thunderstorm. I walked outside into it and had an amazing experience, suddenly aware of my God, and his power. As I stood in a sudden torrent of downpour while the sun shone brightly in the sky, I could hear the thunder roar in the distance. It made me so aware of the power of my God.

Lots of friends and loved ones have been telling tales of rainbows they've been seeing in the sky. Over and over again people were talking about the wonder of the rainbows in the sky.

It made me think of a day in my past when things were particularly dark and scary. I was overwhelmed with fear and discouragement. My heart was heavy. It began to rain that day and I took my children outside to splash in the puddles.

After a time when the rain begin to stop, I looked up into the sky and saw four rainbows in the sky. It was as though they were surrounding our little neighborhood, and honestly, I felt like they were just for me. The Lord was reminding me of His goodness and His faithfulness.

The rainbow is a reminder of the theme of my life, "God always keeps His promises." It is a truth on which I stand.

It makes me wonder that all these rainbows being seen by people here lately aren't perhaps the Lord Himself trying to draw their eyes heavenward. Could it be His call to look up and remember, what a faithful God we serve?

Someone shared this video today on Facebook, and I wanted to share it with all of you, because I think it holds to the theme of the wonderings of my heart.



Is God speaking today?
More importantly, am I listening?
Are you?

Relentless

We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.
For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me.
For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members.
What a wretched man I am!
Who will rescue me from this body of death?
Romans 7:14-24

Sigh. I so feel like I am living out this passage of scripture right now. It's as though there is this great battle going on inside a boxing ring. And the problem is, it is. And I am the boxing ring.

The core of this battle (currently) is in my eating. Along with a friend of mine I am going through a book called Thin Within. It's a biblically principled plan for "weight release." They call it "release" instead of loss, because the idea behind it is something you lose you might be apt to find again, whereas releasing indicates a more permanent "letting go." It is based on the principle that overeating is sin. And the fact of the matter is, it is sin. Albeit a highly acceptable form on sin among the people, when we are brutally honest with ourselves, overeating, and the reasons behind it are sinful.

But this post isn't really about my attempts to lose weight, or to "release" it. It's just the current venue for the battle. Even if I finally got my act together and truly became "Spirit led" or better yet, "Spirit dependant" in the area of my eating, another battle would rear it's ugly head.

The flesh is relentless, you see. Although my case of it is no longer terminal, it is still chronic. And it's such a horrendous battle. The more you try, or at least the more I try, to depend on the Holy Spirit and abide in Him, the more the flesh rises against it.

The hard thing to is once the flesh is battling in one area, it seems to rise in even more areas. First it's not saying no to the gluttonous desires within me. Then the temper flares, the mouth slips. It may be a different pattern for you, but still I know the formula is constant for us all. The flesh rages.

I had such an amazing experience during the week of prayer and fasting at my church, but since then it seems as though the flesh has battled back in spades. And I'm tired.

I know the answer, to abide again. I need to draw close, but it seems the the front lines of the battle between flesh and spirit are always drawn intensely at the efforts to sit before the Lord. At least that's the way it is for me.

I am thankful that the Lord is relentless too. I am grateful that this "work" in my life, is in the end, His work. The Bible says "HE is faithful to complete the good work" He has begun in me (Phil 1:6). I'm so grateful for that fall back truth. In the end, the Bible says, He is faithful even when I am faithless (2 Tim 2:13), which is often, far more than I care to admit. And yet, there is no condemnation in Christ (Romans 8:1).

I think sometimes though, despite all these biblical truths that we can hold, knowing God will not let is slip completely in our stumbles (Psalm 37:24) it does not mean we will not get beat up and bruised along the way. But I think it is very much like when my own children were growing. If I had picked them up and carried them every time they fell, they would never have learned to walk, much less ever learn to run.

He has called us to "Run the race"

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Hebrews 12:1

Lay off the things that hinder us, the entangling sin. Ahh yes, hindrance and entanglement, chief among those things is just little old me, the body of death, the flesh from which I cannot ever completely separate myself. But God... He is not only able, but willing to relentlessly see me through the process.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. Hebrews 12:2-3

Oh Lord, help me not to lose heart. I am weary, the battle is relentless, my flesh is far stronger than I care to confess, but You already know.

Maybe your areas of struggle are different than mine. Perhaps no piece of chocolate cake has ever taunted you, and maybe you control your words quite nicely, but I know, something is your struggle, something is your battle of flesh versus spirit. Somewhere God says "My way" and you chose your own, and you battle and struggle through the consequences of it. I know because the Bible says we all fall short - and the grace of God is our only hope.

I am thankful for a relentless God, who has a stubborn streak in Him that will outlast my flesh and it's every attempt to rail against Him.

My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:26

Cancer Sucks

I hate cancer. It is an unbiased evil that will attack and seek to destroy anyone. It has attacked my aunt and my grandmother. It killed my great-grandma, and took my grandpa away from me. The process of battling it weakened my mom-in-law's heart to the point we lost her too. It's ugly and it's awful.

Right now if I think about it, I know of a little girl not much older than my Victoria who has been battling brain cancer for years. I get regular email updates about a horrible difficult battle this little girl faces and so Victoria and I pray for her.

I have a friend who I knew in high school but connected and built a friendship in the last year or so on Facebook. She's my age, just 40, and she had to have a huge cancerous tumor removed and she is still fighting for the victory over the disease.

This summer, two amazing women of God that I know both lost their battles to cancer. The first was a woman I have known for many years, she was the mom to one of the "kids" in youth group when Neal and I worked in the ministry back in the 90s. She lost her second battle to cancer. A breast cancer survivor from many years ago, she was struck with the disease a 2nd time a couple of years ago. Her battle was long and painful, and she fought to the end, but in the end, cancer ended her life.

The second lady, Becky, was spared the long battle, but was also not afforded the luxury of time. More importantly, he friends and loved ones were not afforded time. It was too quick.

I don't know exactly how long ago I met Becky, I would say two years ago at the longest, but I think even more recent than that. Becky and her sister Debbie were the kind of people that when you met them, you just knew you wanted to get to know them better.

Their love for God, and their passion for ministry and prayer were infectious. Debbie struck me as the nurturer, the one who would hug you and cry with you and Becky seemed liked the Sword bearer. She was a woman of the Word, and she would speak it with authority, not only to you, but into you and your life. They were this amazing team. They have been best friends for along time, and somewhere along the line, in her adult life, Debbie was formally adopted by Becky's family. Single moms, they loved together since the early 80s raising their children together. They were prayer partners, ministry partners and even business partners, sisters in every sense of the word.

I saw them in the parking lot of my church back in June. Becky hadn't been feeling well and had had some medical issues going on, but the reality of what was happening to her was completely hidden at that time. I'll let Debbie tell you more specifics:

"Becky really struggled with feeling tired alot for a long time but since we both have been going through menopause we just thought that was what it was from. We both went to a holistic doctor/chiropractor and were given different supplements and patches but they didn't seem to work for her. In March she complained of her back hurting and was in pain but thought she was out of alignment. We went to the holistic guy and he diagnosed her with kidney stones. She started drinking alot of water which made the pain worse. Our brother told her of a kidney stone breaker called Renevive. We ordered it off the internet and she started taking that. She took that for 3 weeks and was in such pain all the time, but (she) did pass some kidney stones.

We then heard of another kidney stone breaker called Chanca Piedra and (so) she took that. That also broke up the stones and she did pass more. (But) it seemed the pain never gave up. She also started having stomach problems and couldn't eat and had pain with that. The holistic guy said she had an ulcer. (So) he treated her for that and she seemed to get worse.

This went on into July. After July 4th she started to fill up with fluid in her stomach area. On July 15th we went to an MD. He had a hunch it may be cancer. He ordered tests and by the 23rd we were in St Joesph's ER and (found) she had a lesion on the pancreas and her liver was "compromised". She was in the hospital for 5 days and although they drained the fluid from her stomach and it tested negative of any cancer cells they suggested more tests. We went to visit the doctor in the doctor's office and they gave a number to a doctor who would do a biopsy. That appointment was 2 weeks out from that day that Becky called for an appointment." (I will refrain from climbing on a soap box here about where medical care will be headed when the government takes it over. Diana)

"In the meantime we were referred to a (doctor in) Virginia Beach who works with cancer patients naturally. He worked with Becky but she just could not eat and I believe her body just couldn't fight because it was malnourished. Her sodium level dropped so much that she could not (even) get up on her own... I had to help her. She (also) wasn't getting much sleep and always took the pain pills which was not like Becky.

On Sunday morning August 15th Becky tried to get up to go to the bathroom without me and I heard a thud and found her flat on her face on the floor. It took me 30 minutes to get her up because she was so limp. All I did was hold her and cry.
I called our brother and he came and helped me take her to the ER at St Joesph's. She was in the ICU for 2 days and met with kidney doctors, the doc who wanted to do the biopsy and the cancer doctor."

Eventually the diagnosis was made, it was pancreatic cancer. As cruel as all cancer seems to be, this cancer seems to be the most cruel of all, it's labeled as a death sentence, the stories of victory over it are rare. It took Michael Landon, it took Patrick Swayze, and then it took Becky Bailey, and for me, that was one person too many, and it's made me want to do something about it.

On November 13th, along with Becky's sister Debbie, and 23 other people she hopes to recruit, we will be walking in a 5K fundraiser to raise money for research for a cure for pancreatic cancer and money to help those suffering from the disease. This is where you come in.

Would you be willing to support me or the team as we raise money? My challenge to my friends and family, and now to you is this, skip a trip or two to Starbucks, or a lunch out, and take that $5-10 (or however much you might have on your heart) and donate it to the Pancreatic Cancer Action Network.

I set an original goal of just $100, but with it met, I have now raised it to $300, and you can help me reach that goal. But I have to warn you, if I do, I plan to up it again.

This is a horrible awful disease, and I want to be part of the fight against it. Won't you help?

Click below or on the "thermometer" to the left on this page, and make a donation to help.


Click Here to Donate

Thanks in advance for your help!

Sometimes It Flows

My greatest heart's desire would be to be able to speak consistently and publicly for Christ. I don't mean in just the one on one lay sense, but professionally even. It is an awesome thing to stand before a group of people fully dependant on the Lord and have opportunity to share about the Lord and the Good News. It helps that I know, that I know that I know, that this is definitely one of the gifts He has given me.

Unfortunately, it is not a place where doors seem currently open for me, but I am honestly ok with that, because I know He is in charge, and in His perfect time and way, He will open the doors.

A lot of people refer to my writing as my greatest gift, but I happen to know, although it is absolutely a gift from Him, it isn't my primary one, although it may be in the top two or three. But the problem with my writing is, I am far more apt to get into the midst of it and mess things up. Unlike when I get the chance to speak, where the dependence is completely on Him, because once it's been said, it's done and out there, with my writing, there is time and opportunity to mull it over and make my own edits and changes that aren't necessarily the way the Lord would have it given.

Now, to be clear, I am by no means saying every time I speak it's a God thing, the fact is, it would be far better if He had total control of the edit feature in that scenario! However, I can honestly say that because of the way the Lord opened the world of speaking for/about Him, I know full well that the process of it is "Prepare, prepare, prepare" (which means plenty of study and even more prayer) but when it all comes down to it, my final prayer before walking on a stage or in front of a room full of people is always' John the Baptist's prayer, "Lord may I decrease that You may increase." And I trust in God's promise to Moses, that if I open my mouth, He will show up and speak. And faithfully, He always has, because I know, bottom line, if just one person is touched and ministered to, then I served my purpose. And I know if He isn't going to show up for me specifically, there is always someone there He will show up for.

However, having said all that, I can honestly say that there are times with my writing, that He is just as in charge as when I get the opportunity to speak. Sometimes, it just flows. When things come pouring out of you, in a good way, it's always been my experience, that it is an overflow of the good work of the Holy Spirit.

This past week has been a powerfully filling week for me. And I have been different, and responded to things differently, and I know it is because I have been abiding. This morning though, after I dropped the kids off at school, I had the first inkling of my "level" having dropped just a little below full on the gauge. Nothing "happened" I just had this sense of need for Him, like I missed what I have been experiencing. And I began to pray about it. I don't want the things the Lord has been doing in me to be a brief afterglow to a good week of prayer and fasting. I long for it to be a work of change to give Him great glory.

As I drove to the bank before heading to work, words began to flow. As I had to sit outside waiting for the bank to open, I grabbed a pen and paper and I wrote down the poem the Lord gave me. I know a lot of people question the wisdom of sharing these creations without proper copyright coverage, but the fact is, I know when it flows out like that, it's not just meant for me. The gift to write them isn't mine, the words themselves do not belong to me. They are for the good of God's people, and for His glory, so I have no choice but to share them and hope they are a blessing to many, but I also know if it ministers to just one, then it will serve its purpose. I hope it ministers to you.

Wanderer

My heart wants to wander,
My eyes grow too weary to heed,
My own flesh tries to prevent me,
From my soul’s sole greatest need.

My soul longs for Your presence,
I need to just sit at Your feet,
That Your Spirit may pour into my want,
And make my satisfaction in You complete.

Circumstances will conspire against it,
The fellowship of my heart with Yours,
The enemy of my soul seeks to destroy it,
But my spirit deep within continually implores,

“Father, help me overcome every obstacle,
That hinders my path to You,
Help me lay aside this life’s cares,
And bask in the knowledge of what’s true.

You called me to a greater purpose,
Than what I see before my eyes,
You have a plan to use me,
To break through all the lies.”

Lies that say we don’t matter,
That there is no God who cares,
Must be shattered by Your lovingkindness,
That Your love may reveal You are there.

You’re reaching out to each one of us,
Calling us ever closer to Your heart,
For it is Your greatest longing,
Of Your family and purpose all would be a part.

I know You gave Your all,
So we could fellowship as one,
No thing did you withhold,
Not even Your Precious Son,

Yet still my heart longs to wander,
My flesh and my will, they fail,
But I cling to the hope I have,
That Your purpose will prevail.

You are my strength and my hope,
So my heart must persevere,
And as I reach out in my weakness,
I know You’ll meet me here.

My weary head, You’ll lift,
And look into my face,
With gentle words You remind me,
In Your plan, I have a place.

So in my weakness of flesh,
My spirit cries out in hope to You,
Knowing no matter how I may struggle,
Your love and promises hold true.

- Diana DePriest
© September 14, 2010

My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Psalm 73:26

So Fast

This past week my pastor called our church to a time of prayer and fasting.

It's my belief that fasting is something that really has to be done with the right intentions and purposes. I have many times considered or even started a fast only to be out of determination by dinner time. I've thought about doing fasts because it would be a good way to start a diet, or because I would have some other ulterior motivation, and never, ever would it work out or last.

Only once in my life did I ever experience a truly successful fast. Maybe that's a word to my spiritual condition? But I don't think so, what I really think is that the source behind a truly successful fast has to be the Lord. It has to be something He initiates, or at the very least, He sustains. Yes, it is our discipline, but it is by His strength.

The first successful fast I experienced was back in the fall of 2003. 2 1/2 years in to Ethan's adoption a birth father came back into the picture and battled us to regain custody. In the heat of the stress and battle I awoke in the middle of the night and as I lay in bed in my room in the dark, I heard the Lord tell me to fast for three days, so I did. I sailed through the process, and when it was finally over, within a matter of days everything turned around in E's adoption. God purposed it, initiated it and sustained it, and it was successful and effective.

This time there was no personal waking in the middle of the night, but when I heard my pastor's call to it, as I thought/ prayed about it, my thought was, that we are called to submit to our spiritual leaders. I felt like the fact that that's where my mind was led, was that the Lord was encouraging me to submit to my pastor's direction, and participate in the fast, so I did.

We were called to 4 days of prayer and fasting, and each night, Tuesday through Thursday, there was a prayer meeting at church. As a family we decided to go on a media fast. We had no TV on and no computer time except for one hour a day (Neal and I have been watching Big Brother, and we didn't want to get behind.) In addition to the family fast I decided to fast food.

Because of a medical condition that I have, I do have some blood sugar issues. My blood sugar can take sudden dips and drops. A while back when I was consistently drinking vitamin waters that had lots of carbohydrates in them, I was super sickly and sluggish. So I had an interesting combination of challenges with needing some sugars to keep my blood sugar from dropping too low, but also I could not consistently drink juices or vitamin waters because too much sugar raises my insulin level too high, and then my level drops even lower.

So my solution to this challenge was drinking primarily water, and when I would feel my blood sugar drop and get the woozy off kilter feeling, I would take a swig of fruit juice to try to level things out. It worked pretty well. I never finished more than a single can/ bottle of juice on any given day.

Unlike the other fast I felt called to, I didn't sail through, but it was much easier than I expected. I had moments of really low blood sugar when I would feel dizzy, almost drunk like or sluggish, but I was able to bounce back.

Unlike the first fast, when I knew exactly what I was seeking God for, it was a specific seeking for a specific prayer, this time, I was just seeking Him. I didn't have a specific agenda in my prayers, I just sought the Lord. When I would go to the prayer meetings at church, I would pray the specific directions we were led in, but on my own, I didn't have an agenda, or want list I was following, I just sought Him.

Wednesday evening my "partner" in the fast got really sick and she had to eat Thursday. I was torn between wanting to quit too, and then not wanting to because I didn't want her to feel bad that I did. In the end, I persevered. But I can't take any credit. Sincerely, I know apart from the strength of the Lord, I would never have made it through. I felt my flesh rise again and again, and I would feel the Lord helping me press through.

It was a long week physically, but emotionally, it was a rise and fall week that made my blood sugar seem static. As I sought Him, He sought to do a lot of work in me.

He spoke, He convicted, He revealed.

He touched places that have been untouched for a long time. Did work I didn't even realize I needed done.

I had some amazing times of prayer. I had moments where I would feel His presence fall mightily.

Throughout the whole week I felt like what I imagine someone on a mountain climb might feel. Ascending an incline, you can't see the summit, and yet you know it's there and you know you're drawing closer. As you press on through challenging resistance, you push through the pain and discomfort because you know you're almost there. Someone climbing a high mountain peak, when you reach the summit, the entire view will change. Standing on the top, looking out at a valley down below, getting a distant view of where the journey on will lead.

I picture this sense of looking down and seeing the generality of what lies ahead, but not being able to fully comprehend the intimacy of the terrain, or city that is below. Atop the mountain, the journey isn't over, but you've reached a turning point in the journey. That is the way I feel about the last week. I by no means have reached an ultimate destination, but there is an exhilaration in having gotten to the place I did this past week. It was an arrival of sorts in that I pressed through a difficult stretch of my longer journey, and I can sort of see off in the distance this beautiful place up ahead, a place I know I want to go. And as I look around, I realize, "I got here, I can keep going."

This week was a crazy emotional week. Super highs, and painful lows, times when I felt like I could soar, and times when I felt like a puddle someone ought to just mop up and dispose of, or maybe already had. But in the end, the Lord had done a good work.

Friday night at the last prayer meeting, as I closed my eyes to sing during worship, I had this strange sensation, as though I were taller. I literally felt like I was greater in stature. It was like the Lord had removed something that had been weighing me down. Perhaps he took off a pack that I should not carry for the next leg of the journey that still waits ahead. A leg I look forward to with anticipation. God's going to continue the good work He has begun, because He promised He would. (Philippians 1:6)

Saturday evening my honorary kid who I hadn't seen much during the difficult week came and hung out with us. As he sat next to me at the Angel game he stopped me to speak. He said, "I don't want this to sound wrong, or prideful or anything, but you're different." It was a high compliment, and I took it that way.

I pray it is truly a lasting change. I pray it's not just an afterglow. What I sense in my spirit, I long for it to last. It has been a good work this week, and all the work of the Lord.