Decorated for CHRISTmas

I can't believe Christmas is only 8 days away. What's really amazing to me is how not stressed I am by the fact that we have almost nothing done in preparation for the holiday. We haven't gotten our tree yet, there are no decorations on display in our home. I haven't bought a single gift for any of my children, or my husband, or really anyone for that matter. Technically Santa has done a small amount of shopping, but it's very small. Whereas this time last year the office downstairs was full of organized Amazon.com boxes and lists made to make sure everyone's bounty was equal and fair, this year I don't even have a plan to speak of, other than knowing what I'll be picking up for my oldest. And yet, I don't really feel even an ounce of stress.

We are going out looking for a tree tomorrow night, because although I could willingly go without, it means a lot to my husband and kids, so tomorrow we'll all hop in Neal's truck and set out in hopes of finding a decent tree, no taller than 7 feet, or 8 at the most. I will stay up till all hours tomorrow night to put the lights on, and then I will sit down alone in the late hours of the dark night to reflect on my work, because once the lights are on, I pass on the responsibility of decorating to my husband and kids. When I was little my mother's tree was a work of art. This year she won't have a tree because she's down with a bad knee, but every other year I remember it being a display of beauty for all to see. But when I think back to my childhod I mostly remember it as forbidden. My kids have had their hands on my tree since they were able to stand. My mother made beautiful art, I hope I have made memories.

I remember when the kids were littler and all the decorations would thickly at the bottom and middle where on the assorted areas of "reach" for my kids. My husband never saw any sense in decorating the side of the tree that faced a corner, so they would decorate the side you could see and nothing more. I have over the years worried about it's ability to stand heavy sided, but we haven't lost a tree yet. Sometime this weekend the tradition will continue. I hope my oldest will still make it a priority to participate over his social life, he's a teenager now and so some of those hard choices have come into play.

Tonight the younger kids have their school program. Last year when I found out about it, I wasn't at all excited. I hadn't been to a school program in a lot of years because Jake's schools hadn't really had them to speak of. But last year's event was such a blessing, so totally Christ-centered, and a wonderful CHRISTmas celebration that even though I have a mile long list of things I should do or need to do, I can't think of any other place I'd rather be that at their school tonight.

My December plans for studying through a month of Christmas carols has not panned out the way I would have liked it to, but the two times we did stop and were able to do it have rooted deeply in my spirit. "Let every heart prepare Him room," was the sentiment Joy to the World spoke to me. And I think this panic free peace this holiday season comes from the fact that this year, for me at least, Jesus really has been the whole "reason for the season." As I listen to Christmas carols each day at work, I just keep reflecting with amazement on the mystery that is Christmas. Jesus came here to dwell among us. The truth I grasped from O Holy Night rings richly in my heart... my "soul feels its worth" to my God who loves me, who loved me enough to come.

There was a song performed at church a couple of weeks ago(that I will share below) that keeps resounding in my heart. I am amazed at the CHRISTmas story, all the glory of God being wrapped into a tiny simple package. It's somewhat of a contradiction to the way we celebrate Christmas today. I think of the beautiful fancy packages I used to find under my mother or my grandmother's tree. Perfect bows, shining paper, even the packages themselves were part of the Christmas decor. You never knew what you might find inside, it could be as simple as a pair of socks, or as extravagant as a new electronic gadget, but whatever it was, it was temporary, prone to wearing out or breaking down. It didn't make the gift any less valuable or less enjoyable to me, especially as a kid, but as I look at it now, the irony isn't lost on me. God took the simplest of packaging, seemingly common even one might say, to give the most amazing gift that would not only last a lifetime, but for all eternity. On that beautiful holy night, God came down from heaven. Emmanuel, God with us.

My house isn't decorated yet this holiday season, but my heart truly is. My soul, having truly felt its worth has prepared a place for Him. There may have been no place for Him in the inn, and everywhere you turn as people shift to "holiday celebrations" and "seasons greetings" for winter solstice, my heart has prepared Him room, and I pray I will continue to make that place of priority for Him this CHRISTmas season, as the day draws closer, and the "to do" list continues to loom, I pray I can struggle through the crowds with words of praise on my lips and joy in my heart. When there are packages to be wrapped late into the night I pray my heart will be thankful for the people I am wrapping them for. And when I am decorating the CHRISTmas tree with lights and that strand on the tree burns out, I pray my mind will remain focused on the Light of the World.

Money is tight this year, the economy is bad, business is pretty far off of where we'd like it to be, and yet as I sit here and reflect, I know I am a blessed woman. Whatever may or may not be underneath a Christmas tree for me this year, I know I have been given a priceless gift that will never lose it's value and can never be taken away. I hope this same truth resounds in your home and your hearts this holiday season.

So all this was done that it might be fulfilled
which was spoken by the Lord through the prophet, saying:
“Behold, the virgin shall be with child,
and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,”
which is translated, “God with us.”
Matthew 1:22-23



God bless us one and all.

Merry CHRISTmas.

O Holy Night

O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!

So we continued our family devotional time again tonight. We were six again with my honorary son present again and after an evening full of playful craziness among us we settled down after dinner and homework were done while chocolate cookies baked in the oven. We sat at the table together and prayed and then each of us spent time in the word. Neal and Jake were the only ones to wander away from the table for that. I think both of them continued in Job and Isaiah respectively. Trevor (HS) read several chapters in Proverbs and in the New Testament. My young ones worked from their devotional books again and I started my word study looking up verses on joy.

At lunchtime today I asked Neal what CHRISTmas carol he thought we should go over tonight. He actually threw me when he said "O Holy Night." It's not a song that I really know well, so possibly in arrogance, I guess I didn't expect it to be on the top of his list either. I guess I would have been less surprised if he'd said something like "Little Drummer Boy," since he's a drummer, but he said O Holy Night, so I pulled up the lyrics and went looking for a version of the song to play for the kids tonight.

When I have sung this song before it's been with a lot of "lala la's" You know what I mean, right? "O Holy Night, the stars I brightly shining, it is the night of the dear Savior's birth... la la la la la... Fall on your knees, o hear the angels voices..."

So I found a wonderful version of the song today at work by Chris Tomlin, but when we were home with the kids I couldn't find it on Napster. We had to settle for Martina McBride, and although her voice is awesome, she only repeats the 1st verse twice, she doesn't sing any other verse of the song. So I ended up singing the 2nd verse to the kids myself. It wasn't nearly as pleasant to the ears, but the words were just as beautiful.

As I read the lyrics today, where normally I would be singing my "lala la's" I was so moved by the words. Long lay the world in sin and error pining. Till He appeared and the soul felt its worth. These words really touched my heart, thinking about the longing the world had for its Savior. All those years since the fall of man, the world waited to be redeemed. Man, not even knowing, was pining away for the love of God. It was not until that moment, when Christ finally came that the soul, the soul of all mankind realized it's worth, it's preciousness to the Father. It takes me back to the days before my own salvation when I did not know the true love of the Father, so many people still, not knowing of God's love for them, and it makes my heart ache.

To explain the next line to the kids, A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn. I talked about the feeling of being lost in the dark. I asked my children to imagine how they would feel if they were lost in a completely dark maze and could not find the door to exit. My wonderful daughter assured me she would be brave knowing God was with her, but I asked her to think about how she would feel practically. Ethan had all the right words, scared, worried, lonely and lost. Tired too, I imagine, wandering in the dark not knowing where to find their freedom. Then I asked them, if suddenly someone flipped on a flashlight, then what? We talked about how if they would just go to the source of that light, then it would lead them to the freedom they were looking for. If only we will draw to the Light, then we can find freedom, direction and hope.

That's what it was like, I am sure for the people of God. They knew the scriptures, had heard the promises and were waiting for the Messiah to come. Pining away. Those shepherds that night on the hill, I'm sure their eyes were drawn to star in the sky, perhaps even in wonder, but what must their reaction have been when suddenly the angel appeared.

I asked Victoria to recite her line that she has in tomorrow's CHRISTmas musical at church, "That night there were shepherds staying in the fields nearby, guarding their flocks of sheep. Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared among them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them. They were afraid." (Luke 2:8-9)

Common, hardworking men, doing their jobs, tending their responsibilities and suddenly, the message came, their salvation was at hand. What an amazing moment that must have been. How amazing that they are the ones the Father first declared the Son's coming to. Surely their souls felt their worth. The Messiah had come for them.

Oh how that message needs to be shared today. The Messiah has come, for so many who are just working hard, tending their responsibilities. I so desperately want my children to grasp this understanding. I so want them to look beyond the presents and the tree, past Santa and the crazy push of materialism everywhere we look. The message of CHRISTmas, the true message is a humble truth of God's love for us, and His deep desire that we know Him, know His love, and the sacrifice He was willing to make in sending His Son so we could come to know Him.

The second verse of the song is the truth of CHRISTmas.

Truly He taught us To love one another;
His law is love And His gospel is peace.
Chains shall He break For the slave is our brother;
And in His name All oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy In grateful chorus raise we,
Let all within us Praise His holy name.

The kids and I talked about the truths here too... His law is love... Every day people question God's love, they talk about war and sickness and then point fingers and blame God, but the truth is, God's heart aches at these things, and aches for those who suffer through them without knowing His love for them. We talked about the "Greatest Commandment"

Jesus replied: "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' Matthew 22:37-39. All the other do's and don'ts that so many people define the bible and religion by are all wrapped up and accomplished in loving God and loving one another.

And His gospel is peace. We talked about how peace is found in the gospel, the good news, the words of truth the angels proclaimed that night, the Messiah came because "God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever would believe in Him would not perish, but have eternal life." (John 3:16) Jesus came at the Father's bidding to give us eternal life. And that in this "good news" peace is also made between us and the Father.

I am so glad that Neal chose this song this morning, I think it continues to decorate our heart beautifully for the CHRISTmas season, because although no angels may come to proclaim this great tiding in these dark days, each of us who knows Him and loves Him can. We have the power and opportunity to speak the words of truth so that the souls around us might "feel their worth." And when they have, may they fall on their knees in worship for the one who loves them beyond their comprehension.

The good news of the gospel is the greatest gift I hope to give to all who might listen this CHRISTmas season, not only in words, but in love.

Joy to the World

Joy to the world! the Lord is come;
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare him room,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven, and heaven, and nature sing.


CHRISTmas time is here. Tuesday was the first of the month, and we did follow through with my plan to focus on the reason for the season. It was severely challenged and almost fell through, but in the end we pulled it off and it was worth it. We had company for dinner in my honorary son (sort of company, because he really is part of our family now) and afterwards everyone wandered off for 20 minutes or so to read the Word. It was a challenge for everyone in that I didn't really give them any direction, there was no assigned devotion to do, just spend time in the word.

My younger two both had devotional books, they read scripture that correlated with their devotions from those books. Ethan had a calendar oriented one, so he just went straight for the date. I helped Victoria pick a page from hers and they went off on their own to proceed. They both needed a little help, but that's part of the idea behind this whole process, to teach them about having their own devotional times. The older boys went two different directions, one digging into the gospels (off his iPod, ain't modern technology grand?) and the other heading into the Old Testament and the book of Isaiah. Neal continued to read what he's been reading in his daily time of work from the book of Job. Not very Chistmas-y but it's where he's been reading.

As for me, I read a little from each of the chapters I knew the younger two were looking into and I also read the Psalm that was connected to the Christmas carol I knew we'd be talking about when we gathered back together. It led me off onto a short word study on the word "joy." It's where I think I'd like to spend my devotional times for the month of December.

I was actually really pleased by the kids' responses, even Neal was on board. When they came back up to the table they each wanted to share about what they had read. It was almost hard to get the conversation going about the CHRISTmas carol I had chosen for the day.

Eventually I did. I played a pretty "rockin'" version of Joy to the World by Casting Crowns. I had been meditating on the words of the song most of the day, and the phrase that had been running through my mind over and over again was "let every heart prepare Him room..." That was the desire I had to impart to my kids, that I wanted us to make room for Jesus in this holiday season.

It was a hearty discussion, my younger two competing to answer my questions (we're going to have to work on that) the older boys having input and excitement too. I loved having us all sit there together sharing about the Lord. It made me feel like I was doing God's will.

I learned a few interesting things that day as I looked into the carol, for example I found a "lost" verse that I've never heard sung before. It's the 3rd of 4 verses in the song and it says:

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

As a family we talked about the curse of our sin nature, and how the Lord came in part to break that. We talked about the "making room" and how when baby Jesus was born there was "no room" at the inn, and how in the world today, it seems more and more, that there is "no room" for Christ in CHRISTmas. I really wanted to impart to my kids the importance of remembering what the holiday is really all about. For our first day I have to say, I think it was pretty successful.

Yesterday we were not able to continue in the plan. It made me a little sad to drop the ball already on the 2nd day of the month, but it is why I said I wasn't going to be legalistic about it. Last night was Victoria's dress rehearsal for the CHRISTmas musical at the church, my honorary son was around but he had to be at church by 5 for worship practice, Neal got off late and got stuck in traffic so he wasn't home till after 5, and had to be to church by 6 for his worship practice. It just didn't come together, and yet truly, it was because most of the family was centering about the things of God, so it's certainly not the end of the world, or the end of the "Joy to the World."

We did decide at the table that for His birthday we're going to try to give Jesus a whole month of the Philippians 2:14 challenge. We're going through a rough phase of sibling rivalry with my younger two, and some tattle-taling and whining tightly intertwined, so having the ability to remind my kids of the gift we're giving Jesus is a good thing.

I really want to dig deeper in to the Word about joy, because to be honest, I have been struggling with it since yesterday. As determined as I was Monday to focus on it and choose to be joyful, yesterday the resolve felt sapped out of me. But I am trying to "prepare Him room in my heart because He is so very worthy. And I know that the word says, in His presence is fullness of joy.

I have not really prepared for the holidays, I have officially bought three small gifts and that's it. The outside of our home is decorated but nary a decoration is displayed inside. I guess my focus is to first decorate my heart, and the hearts of my family with the true holiday spirit, the spirit of CHRISTmas, focusing on the many gifts we've already been given but perhaps have neglected recently to enjoy.

Joy to the World
Joy to the world! the Lord is come;
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare him room,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven, and heaven, and nature sing.

Joy to the Earth! the Saviour reigns;
Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills, and plains
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.

Sing to the LORD a new song,
for he has done marvelous things;
his right hand and his holy arm
have worked salvation for him.
The LORD has made his salvation known
and revealed his righteousness to the nations.
He has remembered his love
and his faithfulness to the house of Israel;
all the ends of the earth have seen
the salvation of our God.
Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth,
burst into jubilant song with music;
make music to the LORD with the harp,
with the harp and the sound of singing,
with trumpets and the blast of the ram's horn—
shout for joy before the LORD, the King.
Let the sea resound, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it.
Let the rivers clap their hands,
Let the mountains sing together for joy;
let them sing before the LORD,
for he comes to judge the earth.
He will judge the world in righteousness
and the peoples with equity.
Psalm 98

... let every heart prepare Him room...

'Tis the Season...

...for Christmas themed blogging. Last year it was the 25 days of CHRISTmas, with the goal of establishing CHRIST firmly in the DePriest Christmas holiday. The goal for 2009 of course remains the same, I want to make sure the "reason for the season" is clear here in our home, but the plan for the process this year that's on my heart is different.

I have to be honest, I haven't been very excited about the holidays. Money is tight and as most people are, we are struggling and juggling. My husband and son thought they had busted me on a false "bah-humbug" attitude yesterday because they hear me singing "Jingle Bells" in the shower, but honestly I think I picked it up somewhere like a virus. It was not an overflow of Christmas cheer.

Then I headed off to church yesterday. As I was driving down the street alone I was rooting around behind myself trying to find my bible and keep my eye on the road at the same time. As I grabbed hold of it and plopped it into the front seat, I noticed my relatively new bible is starting to show signs of wear. Immediately I realized the wear is truthfully from lack of use and too much time sliding around in the back of my van. It's a stark contrast to another bible I own, that is severely tattered and worn. The big difference is that its battle scars came from use, extreme use. It literally is coming right out of it's binding. As I the thought came to me, I knew it was the Holy Spirit pricking my heart.

It was also a preparing of my heart for the message I was to hear at church yesterday morning. My pastor was exhorting us to be in the word. It was actually a great sermon that both challenged and encouraged me, but it's not the point behind this post, so if you want to hear it for yourself, just click here and listen for yourself to the 11/30 message called True Revival. Go, have a listen, I'm sure you will be blessed.

Bottom line for this blog's purpose though, was I walked away inspired, not only to be better about getting in the word, but also about getting my kids deeper into the word too.

So, tomorrow we will have daily devotional times. Different than before, we used to all sit together and read out of a family devotional and pray together. But all my kids are readers now, and so what's going to happen is every day for 30 minutes, all the TVs and computers and iPods, etc., will be shutting down, and we'll divide and each have our own personal devotional time. Then we will gather back together for a Christmas themed family devotional.

As I was driving to work this morning I got an inspiration. I'm not really sure how it's going to all come together, and it may even turn out to be a bigger bite than I can chew, but I'm going to give it a shot.

So here's my goal: every day I want to pick a different Christ-centered Christmas carol (seems like that should be redundant, but it isn't) and explore the deeper meaning, talk about the Truth that lines up with it. And if time and inspiration permit, I think also I will post here about it too. I'm not making the same "25 days" commitment I made last year, because let's face it, it could be a big bomb, but if I hit something insightful or a tad bit inspirational, I will be sure to blog about it here. I hope there are 25 carols worth digging into.

Tomorrow I'm kicking it off with one of my faves, Joy to the World, come by and check to see if it makes the blog!

Merry Christmas!

The Cost of Fellowship

A dear woman, who I admire greatly, has often been heard to make the statement, "sometimes people break your china." What she was referring to (in my understanding) is that sometimes, when you are in relationship with people, they're going to hurt or offend you. It's a fact of life.

It's similar to my thought process on interpreting Proverbs 14:4 which says, "Where no oxen are, the trough is clean; but much increase comes by the strength of an ox." I always thought that was a beautiful way to describe church. Church would be a perfect place if there were no people in it, but if there were no people in it, nothing would be accomplished for the kingdom of God.

I guess what I'm saying is, relationships are messy. People offend you, or rub you the wrong way. They can hurt you, unintentionally, or even with purpose. Being in relationship with people gives them power in your life, makes you vulnerable and can be extremely challenging at times. And yet, God has indeed called us to be relational, intimately so.

Being in relationship is work, it's not easy or natural, it takes effort. I don't think that is better exemplified anymore clearly than in marriage. Now as wives go, I don't know there could be any more crazy about her husband than I am. I love that man beyond words, but I can honestly say one of the happiest days for me in our marriage was when we sat counseling a struggling couple and I heard him say the words, "marriage is hard." You see for a long time... a long, long time, my husband held the same misconception that so many others I know do. He thought marriage should be easy, simple, natural even. I'm not sure why he thought that but he did. So I was hard pressed not to stand up and do a happy dance that day, some eighteen years into our marriage, when he finally confessed the challenges.

Although it is well illustrated in marriage, I think the reasoning of the complications of relationship are the same in other relationships too, like family, friendship, authority - all a challenge.

I'll grant you that some friendships are easy, fun, and with few or no complications, but I would challenge you to examine the depth of them. When they are that simple, it is in my opinion because of one of two reasons. Either, it's not all that deep, it's very surface, built on a common interest, like say a golf buddy, or because the relationship has gone deep enough, and had enough effort put into it that it's got a really strong foundation and is built with clear guidelines.

Guidelines? Yes, that's what I said. I have a few friendships in my life built in this manner, but I have one in particular that is really well structured. My friend and I even call the guidelines our "rules." Both of us being women, she being very open emotionally and me being one who over thinks everything we decided that if anything even ever seemed off between us, we had to check it out. We had to be open and ask one another and clear the air as soon as either of us felt things were off. She's been my friend for over 10 years, and although we have had bumps in the road, I can honestly say it is one of the strongest relationships in my life.

Has she ever broken my china? Probably. Have I ever broken hers? Undoubtedly, and yet our friendship remains. But through the years, and through the process we've managed to build something to last, and something that I believe benefits us both. When I'm out of line, no one calls me on the carpet faster than my friend. Not because she has some power in our relationship to harm me, but because she loves me, she cares about me, and she sincerely wants what's best for me. She doesn't let me wander off God's path for me without throwing a rope to pull me back.

I think God's heart is for His body to be filled with relationships like that one. People who are willing to be real and transparent with one another, intimate. People who are just as willing to share their struggles as their victories and just as open to accept criticism as accolades. It isn't easy, even for me and my friend, but the benefits are worth it, most of all the fellowship that comes from walking arm and arm, looking out for one another and encouraging each other along the way.

There are many costs to fellowship like this one though. You have to be willing to forgive, to overlook offenses, when they "break your china" whether it's a chip, or it's been completely smashed - because both will happen, probably more than once. My son and his friend have this running joke. One will slap the other, and in response he will "turn the other cheek," bringing along with it a vengeful hand that slaps back bigger and harder than the friend who slapped first. In teenage high jinks it's all fun and laughter, but underneath it lies an attitude in life, in "the world" that to many hold truth, and it destroys relationships in the process.

Another cost to fellowship is accountability. It's tough to be accountable. It gives permission to those around you to do that "calling on the carpet" I was talking about. It means not letting your friend off the hook when they should have been holding to a higher standard. It's often when accountability pops into the picture that I see people run from relationships. I know I have experienced that myself. I have seen people around me who have appreciated hearing truth until they are questioned about why they aren't living truth. Funny thing is, being accountable probably births as much benefit in spiritual growth as anything. Teachable people are growing people. Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. Proverbs 12:1 - Ouch! Did God just call someone stupid? He did, strong words... I guess we should take in that point. So many people run from accountability and I think when they do they set up a huge stumbling block in their own path towards spiritual maturity.

The benefit of the doubt, there's another challenge to fellowship. We have to choose to assume the best about one another. If someone does, in fact, "chip your china" you have to choose to assume they didn't mean to. For some people that's in their nature, for me others that's not totally the case.

Actually, I know I'm not the only one who struggles with that. Have you ever accidentally cut someone off on the freeway? I did yesterday and it was followed by an emphatic and heartfelt series of single finger salutes in my rear view mirror. I felt bad, but wasn't too much worse for the wear, but it's a different story when you're in relationship with a person. Neal and I often drive home from church in caravan when we've had to start our day at different times. If I accidentally cut him off to find him making the same gestures in my rear view mirror I would be wounded that he would think I had cut him off intentionally. But if I did cut him off, he would have to give up his "right" to display his displeasure for the sake of assuming I meant him no ill will. It's part of being in relationship.

Messy, a hassle, an inconvenience, sometimes even wounds, some earned, some undeserved, but wounds just the same. All are costs to fellowship.

But God has indeed called His children into fellowship. And truth be told, the benefits far outweigh the challenges and inconveniences. True fellowship, with one another and in the body as a whole, brings light, and life and hope. Having people in your life who truly know you and accept you, despite your "china breaking" ways brings strength, it causes there to be a security that knowing even when you fail, you have people in your life who will still love you and stand with you. Accountability isn't fun, but brings forth the truth of "iron sharpening iron." Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so people can improve each other. (NCV) There is growth and strength in relationships like that.

Being someone who gives the benefit of the doubt makes us a people of grace. It makes us clearer reflectors of God's goodness, and being on the receiving end of the benefit of the doubt gives us hope, and courage to press on and step through doors that might otherwise intimidate us, doors that lead to true and intimate friendships, where people can be counted on, and where we ourselves long to become better friends, better spouses, better parents, better Christians.

God meant for us to be in relationship, close and committed to one another. The old charcoal analogy speaks well, a single briquette alone can neither burn well or even keep warm for long, but when many are brought together the power of the flame and the evidence of the heat are strong and effective. Likewise fellowship not only benefits the individual but the body of Christ as a whole, whether observed in the church or the kingdom, the benefits of fellowship are vast.

So what holds you back? Do you prefer to be a golf buddy to a true friend? Even a "church buddy" alone lacks the benefit if you aren't willing to make a deeper investment. But if we each take that step of faith from independence to interdependence, we might just find the body to be effective within the kingdom and toward the world in a greater way. So, let's be real, be available, be open, the inconvenience could pay off for a lifetime.

If one part suffers, every part suffers with it;
if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.
1 Corinthians 12:26-27 (NIV)

Direct

If I had to describe myself in ten words or less, it would surely make the list. In reality, it would probably even land in the top three. It might even be number one. It's who I am, I am extremely straight forward and will almost always tell you not only what I think, but also why I think it. Sometimes I do it, even when I'd rather not, it's just how I'm geared up.

I can say the Lord has done a lot to help me work on my delivery but the sentiment behind it has remained somewhat unchanged. It's sort of like mixing a little sugar in the elixir, it doesn't really make it taste any better, but it makes it a little easier to swallow.

I don't mean to be harsh, but sometimes I am. The different responses I get from people for being so direct are often fascinating. As one might imagine, it sends a lot of people running. What interests me is the people who almost seem to crave it. They're drawn to it. Maybe because there don't seem to be a lot of "straight shooters" in these days of political correctness and the "all about me" driven generation. I'm always fascinated by the people who express admiration for my directness until it's turned towards them in a way they don't want to hear. It makes me wonder why they thought I wouldn't shoot straight towards them too.

One thing for certain, people know where I stand, and if they're willing to come close enough, they know where we stand with each other. I don't do it in an unloving way, necessarily, I just don't have the time or energy to play games. If there is something between us, let's talk about it, let's hash it out. Let's figure it out so we can either get through it or get past it, even if we have to agree to disagree.

Although it has at times gotten me into some uncomfortable situations, I would rather be this way than not. I would rather not be one of those people who is unwilling to own their words. I don't want to be someone who would say something behind your back that I would never say to your face. It's not fair to you, and it's not the person I want to be.

Maybe it's why I am really struggling with recent revelation about someone I know who has been badmouthing me and my family for 20 years, and never once has had the nerve to say it to my face. I think the thing that really ticks me off is that I knew what was thought and what was being said. It might have been even worse than what I thought, but it wasn't surprising, but having the confirmation has really made me angry. Angry, and battling against being true to my very direct self, for the sake of someone else... an innocent of sorts, maybe even a couple of unrelated bystanders, but it is a challenge.

I have a bird's eye view of a few other situations around me where directness is lacking. Someone shared with me about one situation and how they had advised a friend to just avoid the conflict and the person related. My thought was, how do you know the truth if you don't address the situation? How do you know there isn't misinformation or a misunderstanding if you don't address the situation head on. She told me she thought that was a more "mature" approach. I don't know if that's necessarily true, but I do know, I can't stand to be left wallowing in wonder and assumptions.

I guess this is just really a venting/ rambling post. I don't have some great insight or biblical principal that I am trying to apply here, though when I think of Jesus in the temple flipping tables - He was pretty direct. And when He sat with the woman at the well, He didn't avoid the issue at hand so as not to hurt her feelings, He spoke honestly to her about the sin in her life. So I guess I could make the argument that Jesus would be pro-directness. He certainly valued truth. I probably could use a lot of work towards His delivery, and surely the sincerity of His heart behind it, but the clarity behind it remains.

I know in all likelihood when this person and I cross paths the truth will come out, and I will directly confront the things that have been said, but for the sake of others I won't seek the opportunity out. It's difficult, but I won't.

Can I just say, in all honesty, that I would prefer more people be direct. I would rather know what you're thinking, and where we stand with one another than tried to read signs or go on intuition, although my intuition often proves to be good, as clearly reflected by the situation I currently face.

Funny, I am usually so transparent here (I know, almost to a fault) and now I find myself being vague as I talk about being direct, but let me assure you it is for the purpose of keeping someone else safe, not me. I would rather be rejected for who I am than be admired for who I'm not.