Adopted!

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with His pleasure and will— to the praise of His glorious grace, which He has freely given us in the One He loves.
Ephesians 3:1-6

This passage of scripture was in my daily reading plan this morning, and it really touched my heart. It's not an unfamiliar passage to me, I have heard it probably hundreds of times, maybe even heard dozens of messages on it, but this morning, I don't know it really just struck a cord in my heart.

I have always said that for me at least, being a parent has been an awesome insight into what the heart of God is like. By no means am I successful in loving my children as perfectly and unconditionally as God loves His kids, but it is a glimpse. I do love my kids with all of my heart.

But as much as just being a "mom" shows me a little something about God's love, I have to say, having the privilege of being an adopted mom really is a revelation about God's heart for us all the more.

I think back to the 4 am phone call I received from Oklahoma that morning in February 2001. I wasn't there, my child was being born, but I was 1,300 miles away. There was just one thing to do, get to Oklahoma, and get to my son.

It took me 22 hours between the time of that first phone call and the moment I finally met Ethan. It was a harried day, getting plane tickets for Neal and I, making arrangements for a car when we got to Oklahoma, making arrangements for our older son Jacob, packing, just the actual process of getting there.

When we finally made it to Oklahoma, we were exhausted. Ethan was asleep in his birth mother's room. We said our hellos to his birth mom and her family. I held Ethan in my arms for the first time, and took in this new baby.

I'm not going to lie, Ethan was a little train wreck. He had a couple birth defects that would require surgical correction and he was covered in ugly red pustules all over his body. He was a newborn, but he wasn't cute or cuddly. In all honesty, he was kind of ugly, and definitely broken. As I held him his birth mom asked me, "I know he has a lot of problems, but are you still going to take him?" I am relieved to say that I never had a moment's thought of bailing on this little boy, but if we hadn't already made the commitment, he might have been a hard sell.

The hospital staff was very supportive and soon after we arrived they set up a room for the three of us. Neal and I took our new sleeping son and setting his bassinet between us we each climbed into separate hospital beds and tried to catch a little sleep. It must have been about an hour or so later when I heard the most pitiful bleating cry that awoke me. I got up in the darkened room and went to Ethan.

As I picked him up into my arms, something happened in that moment. I honestly can't even find the words to describe it, but it was as though something physically happened. I am the birth mother of my other two children and I loved them before I ever held them. They were a part of me from conception, but this moment, Ethan and I alone in the dark (because Neal slept through the crying), I actually felt the moment I fell in love with my son. Even now I can remember like a click in my heart, as our two lives became eternally connected.

There was nothing about this little boy that made him desirable. He was a broken mess, He had nothing to offer but had every need for me. He had come in to the world under unfortunate circumstances and he had no fault or control in his situation. He could do nothing for himself, and if someone did not rescue him from himself and his circumstance, the truth is, his future looked very bleak, hopeless even. And yet, in that moment, there was nothing I wanted more in life than to make Ethan my own.

Ethan's adoption story was long and complicated. It was the very next morning that we actually had to begin a 3 1/2 year long and difficult battle to arrive on the day when he would truly become our son legally, but that moment in the dark is when he became the son of my heart.

This is why I get this passage of scripture, and it moved my heart so deeply. You see, Jesus traveled a great distance to come after me, and he came to me in the darkness. I was a broken mess and had nothing to offer Him but ugliness and need. And in the moment that he held me, our hearts were linked together, eternally too. There's no rhyme or reason to the why of God wanting me, but He did. And all on His own, out of the love in His heart, He came to me in my need and made me a part of His family.

The other day, my kids were kind of driving me crazy. And in my typical sarcastic/ comic way, I, in exasperation, blurted out, "I'm going to disown you all!" When I said it, my daughter, who was born to me just under 10 months after that night in the hospital in Oklahoma, said from the back seat, "That's not fair! You can't disown Ethan!"

You see, one of the benefits for Ethan as my adopted child is that I have to guarantee him two things, (1) He will always belong to us, there is no undoing an adoption, unlike my other kids who can be disowned, it can never happen to my Ethan. And (2) I must guarantee Ethan an inheritance. Whatever I leave behind someday, Ethan is guaranteed his portion of it. I cannot leave him "out of the will."

Likewise, when we come to Christ, our position is secure and our inheritance is guaranteed. Though God would never blurt out the threat of disowning us if our actions were frustrating and contrary to His will, I think sometimes in our hearts, the sense of the threat tries to rise up. But be encouraged, it's not so! Our place in Christ, and all the blessings there are ours!

Although we have NOTHING to offer, and we could never find ourselves worthy, God wanted us. He made a way for us, and HE willingly adopted us into His family through Christ!

I have heard Ethan on more than one occasion tell his siblings, "She CHOSE me, she just got stuck with you." And although the truth is that I love all my children equally, there is also truth in Ethan's security that he was wanted, he was chosen, and his bond to our family runs far deeper than blood.

If you are a follower of Christ, you were bought with His blood, and you were wanted and chosen, and your bond is secure. You belong, you are ADOPTED! Never forget what that means!

100 Verse Challenge - Week 2

Robert J. Morgan tells us in his book 100 Verses Everyone Should Know By Heart, that by adding these two new verse to your scripture tank, you have complete the four corners of the gospel. These first four verses tell the story of the gospel.

I hope you have your first two "tent stakes" down having already memorized Genesis 1:1 and John 1:1, our "In the beginning verses."

This week's verses share the common theme of the "One and Only Son. And our first verse actually makes reference to pitching our tent, as you study the Greek, "taking up residence" in the verse refers to "pitching a tent."

"The Word became flesh and took up residence among us. We observed His glory, the glory as the One and Only Son from the Father, full of grace and truth." John 1:14 CSB (Holman Christian Standard Version)

Morgan tells us this verse does a better job than any other in the Bible making known the incarnation of Christ. It's when Jesus came and pitched his tent to live among us, to make Himself and the Father known to us.

Our second verse is one familiar to all Christians. It's the crux of the gospel. I like the version that Morgan has chosen and I highly recommend not dismissing the verse as already in your "tank," but rather take the time and opportunity to memorize it in this version and dwell on the truth that it imparts.

Morgan shares a DL Moody hearing a sermon from a young man named Henry Moorhouse, a gambler, gang leader and thief who was converted during a revival. It was Moorhouse who Moody first heard the passage preached to relay the message, "God loves sinners. "

Morgan goes on to point out that in this verse the word GOSPEL is even spelled out. See for yourself:

"For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16 CSB

Let God's Word dwell richly in your heart this week and change you.

It's not too late to join the Challenge! Click on the box at the top of the collumn on the right to RSVP today!

Pain

I've been thinking about pain a lot lately. Probably because I have been in it for so long now.

Several months ago I did something to pinch a nerve in my back. The pain is inside my left shoulder blade. Originally, it hurt the most when I was either driving my car, or sitting at my desk working (at work or at home). Can I just say? As a working mom, those were two EXTREMELY difficult times to deal with pain. Working at my desk and driving in my car are UNAVOIDABLE, and also completely necessary. Whatever the nerve is that is pinched, it also has caused a facial tick. If I raise my eyebrows, there is what feels like a fish hook in my bottom lip that causes it to quiver. How the two are related is completely beyond me, but they are.

For several months, I tried my best to work through the pain. I would shift on to one hip, sit up on one leg. In the car I would lean back like a low rider just to remove the hot stabbing pain in my back. Ideally if I could just have avoided the positions I had to be in to drive and work maybe it would have gotten better, but it wasn't an option. So for several months I suffered through.

Pain- a huge hot knife like feeling in my back and painful tingling down through my arm. I would take 15 Advil a day to suffer through. When I started getting bloody noses, I decided I better bite the bullet and go see the chiropractor so he could possibly help.

Come to find out the nerve in my back was pinched between a displaced rib and a displaced vertebrae. My doctor was a little shocked about how out of whack things were. So he aligned things back and I have since been to see him nearly a dozen times getting "adjusted."

The fact is, in many ways, things have only gotten worse. This nerve that was pinched has now been released, but the compression of it actually limited it's ability to feel the discomfort. Now this damaged nerve has to heal. And instead of the relief of circulation being cut off much of the time, blood is flowing fully to it, and it hurts all the time.

Sitting and driving still hurt. The knife is a little smaller, and the numbness has subsided considerably, but the pain is still just as intense. But now I can no longer find relief by standing up and moving around. The respite that laying down used to bring doesn't exist anymore, now I wake up and I ache constantly. The hurt is constant.

It's sort of interesting to me how when you remove the source of the pain, it didn't actually bring relief to it. I thought once the doctor adjusted me, things would get instantly better, but it just hasn't turned out to be the case.

I'm finding it not to be just the case in the situation of my back either. Heart pain can be very much the same way. Even when you remove, or move away from the source of it, the pain can linger. Sometimes it can even intensify.

I don't believe that time has the ability to heal wounds, but I do believe that sometimes time must pass for healing to take place. So I guess in both my body and my heart, though adjustments have been made, and sources of pain removed, it's a matter of time before the hurt no longer besets me.

For my body I'll take an Advil and put my salon pas pad in place. For my heart, I will say a prayer and rest in the knowledge that God is with me and for me, and will see me through.

100 Verse Challenge - Week 1

Today is the day! We have finally arrived at the kickoff! We are going to spend the next year memorizing 100 verses in the Bible! Based on Robert J. Morgan's book "100 Verses Everybody Should Know by Heart." If you haven't joined the challenge, it's not too late. How can you go wrong? There is no failure in this endeavor, if you only learn 10% of the verses on the list, a "fail" on any test in the world, you will have a "win" because you will have learned 10 of God's scriptures and hidden them in your heart! Every verse you write on your heart is a treasure for your life! So it's worth the effort.

You can still head over to the event on Facebook and RSVP (click) to join, or you can just follow along here on the blog. Every Sunday evening (Lord, willing) at about 6 pm Pacific Time, I will post the scriptures we are working on for the coming week (between 1 and 3 verses, keeping corresponding verses together). I highly recommend the book, but you don't have to have it to participate. So what do you have to lose? Jump in!

The two verses for week one are the first two of what Mr. Morgan refers to as "The Fantastic Four." They are about "Beginnings," and truth be told, I suspect many of our participants will be relieved to find them very familiar, and possibly already written on your heart. If so, use them as a source of scripture meditation this week. Think upon the word of God.

Some of Mr. Morgans suggestions are to create a sing-song way of saying them, and to include the chapter and verse in your recitation. And say them out loud, A LOT! And write them down, for you visual learners, post it notes, EVERYWHERE!

My suggestion remains, involve others, learn them with your spouse, or your children, or both. Make it a competition, keep yourself accountable with a friend. Make it a goal, reward yourself when you learn every ten or so, make it fun, but as the saying goes, "JUST DO IT!" It will be AWESOME! So you've been waiting, are you ready? Here are your first two verses for week one:

In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. - Genesis 1:1

Mr. Morgan refers to this verse as the "bedrock of the Bible" and says it "encompasses the totality of Truth." This verse gives us "roots" - rooted in "the glory of God whose image we bear." And it gives us "routes" Morgan says, "If we are created in God's image, we have eternal potential."

Our second verse for week 1 is:

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. - John 1:1

This verse Morgan tells us "touches" on the "mysteries at the heart of Christianity, the Trinity and the person of Jesus Christ." He goes on to say, "John 1:1 speaks of our Christ's preexistence, In the beginning was the Word; it speaks of His coexistence: And the Word was with God; and it speaks of His divine existence: And the Word was God. We cannot fully grasp these mysteries, but this verse surely gives us a glimpse into them.

I highly recommend the book, "100 Verses Everybody Should Know by Heart," and you can purchase them for yourself from Robert J. Morgan's website (click to go) and you can also find several free downloads to help you on this journey at the bottom of the page. It is also available at Amazon.com. But whether you buy the book or not, you can participate for sure! So come on, join us on this journey and grow in your own Walk of Faith....

On your mark, get set, GO! Memorize!!!!

Pilgrims

We've had a hard couple of days around here.

And yesterday, after 20 years of calling one church home, we finally came to the decision, that it was time to leave.

It isn't about dramatic statements, or high intrigue drama, it isn't about anything really, other than it was just simply, time to go.

It wasn't a sudden decision, some people, perhaps many, have seen it coming for a while. But it wasn't an easy decision by any stretch of the imagination.

I recommitted my life to Christ in that church. My husband Neal got saved there. The two of us were baptized together there. All of our children were born to us while we were a part of that family. They are the connection through which God brought us Ethan, and they stood with us through many hard things.

And yet, it was just time.

Obedience isn't always easy. The truth is, it's a little how I imagine an amicable divorce would feel. They wish us well, we wish them well, but it still hurts. It still hurts our kids. There are still a thousand little things you have to grieve.

When I thought this morning about my husband and son never going on another Father Son camp out with our church, it felt a lot like someone punched me in the gut. When I see tears fill in my daughters eyes because she won't have her Wednesday night meetings with her girlfriends, it breaks my mother's heart a little. And when I wonder who will decide to reject us because of our decision, I won't lie, it frightens me. I am afraid of hurting, but even more, I am afraid of my kids being hurt.

This is my hope, that people who thought well of us two weeks ago, will still think well of us today. And I hope that people who believed that we are true believers who love and follow Christ will not question that now. I hope the address of where we worship will not change the opinions of our character and our integrity.

It's not easy. God has asked us to step out into an unknown. We don't have a church yet. We have no idea where God is calling us to. And all these past few days I have expressed to the Lord, "I don't want us to be nomads!" That was my word. Nomads. I don't want to be a wanderer.

We have some heavy things going on right now, which made the decision even a little more complicated, but when you know, you know. And when God says go, you go. But after a long meeting in our home with a trusted shepherd to help us through, I headed off to bed.

As tempting as it was not to do my daily reading, I determined that I was going to see through my promise to the Lord about reading my bible passages every day. So in my Bible that I am using for the year through read, there is commentary along side each chapter, excerpts from assorted books. And the excerpt was by Max Lucado and his book And the Angels Were Silent. It talked about how one of God's favorite words is "Come." Come you who are weary... Come you who are thirsty... Come. And it said, "God is a God who invites. God is a God who calls. God is a God who opens the door and waves his hand pointing pilgrims to a full table." And as I read that, it registered with my spirit.

The word "pilgrim" stood out to me. And I felt like the Lord was saying, that we are not in fact becoming nomads, but for a season, we are becoming pilgrims. So I had to look up the words.

nomad - 1. a member of a people or tribe that has no permanent abode but moves about from place to place, usually seasonally and often following a traditional route or circuit according to the state of the pasturage or food supply. 2. any wanderer; itinerant.

pilgrim - 1. A religious devotee who journeys to a shrine or sacred place. 2. One who embarks on a quest for something conceived of as sacred.

I felt like there was a promise for us in the difference between those two definitions. And it is what I am holding onto right now.

Yesterday when I picked V up at school and told her that our departure from our church was inevitable, she began to cry. I spoke Jeremiah 29:11 over her as we stood on her school campus and tried to comfort her. "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Later when we got home, she was working on her school verse with her dad.

It was Jeremiah 29:11-12, "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. I said, "Victoria! Do you see? God wants you to know that verse is for you!

This morning I asked her how she was doing. And she said, "Mom, did you hear in my verse how it said if I prayed God would listen? Well, I prayed last night he would help me fall asleep before your meeting so I wouldn't get up and bother you." And she said, "And I think just before I fell asleep, maybe, I might have heard God speak to my heart."

I asked her what she thought she heard. She said, "He said, 'I have a plan.'"

Yes, He does.

Please say a prayer for our family. Transition is hard, but God is good.

Hard Things

It's nearly 3 am and I cannot sleep. My mind is heavy, my thoughts constant. It's not confusion that keeps me awake but constancy. Thought after thought is running through my mind. Overload of concerns and information keep me from closing my eyes. It's not unrest exactly, but even with the residing peace in my soul, I feel burdened.

Without deciding to, my husband and I find ourselves in the position of teaching our children hard things. As a parent I find myself teaching my children something almost all the time. But sometimes the lessons are thrust upon us and not chosen. I find myself in the midst of that.

Teaching my children that mom and dad don't always have all the answers is difficult. So many things in life have simple answers, and honestly as parents, we often make decisions in the teaching process just for the purpose of giving our kids resolution. Lots of things are "black an white" enough that you can make a choice and live with it.

Right now my children are learning that not all decisions are "black and white." They're also learning that some decisions can't be made quickly. That's hard for me. I'm the kind of person who likes to lay everything out, pros and cons below each option, at least mentally, and look at the choices and go with one. But right now, things aren't all that simple, and there really isn't anything that can be done to change that. And that is a hard thing.

"Follow your heart" is a worldly wisdom that works its way into the lives of us all. Often in easy choices it can actually be wisdom. But sometimes, like now for us, our hearts have to be removed from the decision making process. That's a hard thing to teach your child. That's a hard thing fr anyone to learn, and a really hard thing to walk out.

Sometimes in life you find yourself in limbo, and that too is a hard thing. Waiting and watching is probably a better description for the goal of where we'd like to truly be, but in all honesty, it really just feels like limbo. It's hard enough to find yourself dancing there, but teaching your children to keep the rhythm of that dance, it's a hard thing.

Suddenly, I'm remembering a ride on a catamaran when I was about 12 years old. The ride on that boat felt a lot like what life feels like these days, in flux. I remember laying down in the back of the boat, my stomach turning. I was so sick. As I sat and stared at the waves it just caused my head to spin and my tummy to turn. The truth is, as I look at so much of the things about me, I feel very much the same way.

I remember my dad coming along side me. He pointed to a large island off on the horizon. He told me, "Look at the island, whatever you do, look at what isn't moving, and not at what is." I just wanted to close my eyes, but "No," he told me, "force your eyes open and look at the island. Closing your eyes will only make it worse."

My dad was right. It was a hard thing to overcome the desire to just close my eyes to the waves around me, but when I did what he said and I focused on what was not moving, I actually started to feel better. The headache began to subside and my stomach ceased to churn. The waves were no less choppy, and the ride was no more smooth, but when I fixed my eyes, I was able to not only weather the ride, but to a degree, I even found myself able to enjoy it.

It's a hard thing to teach your kids, and to remember for yourself for that matter, that when the waves are raging and the ride feels choppy, you have to fix your eyes on what is solid and unmoving. When you cannot find your own bearings you have to focus what is secure.

It's a hard thing to teach your children to fix their eyes on Jesus and to overlook the waves they do not understand. To teach them to trust in something bigger than their minds can fully grasp.

As I am finishing this up, I just clicked over to my Facebook where a young man I know has left me a scripture to encourage me. He's spoken prophetically into my life without even realizing it. And the passage is a perfect way to end this post.

"Listen to Me, you who follow after righteousness, You who seek the Lord: Look to the rock from which you were hewn, and to the hole of the pit from which you were dug...For the Lord will comfort Zion, He will comfort her waste places; He will maker her wilderness like Eden, and her desert like the garden of the Lord; Joy and gladness will be found in it, Thanksgiving and the voice of melody."
Isaiah 51:1-3

Looking to the immovable Rock. It is a hard thing, but so much harder not to.