Joy to the World

Joy to the world! the Lord is come;
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare him room,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven, and heaven, and nature sing.


CHRISTmas time is here. Tuesday was the first of the month, and we did follow through with my plan to focus on the reason for the season. It was severely challenged and almost fell through, but in the end we pulled it off and it was worth it. We had company for dinner in my honorary son (sort of company, because he really is part of our family now) and afterwards everyone wandered off for 20 minutes or so to read the Word. It was a challenge for everyone in that I didn't really give them any direction, there was no assigned devotion to do, just spend time in the word.

My younger two both had devotional books, they read scripture that correlated with their devotions from those books. Ethan had a calendar oriented one, so he just went straight for the date. I helped Victoria pick a page from hers and they went off on their own to proceed. They both needed a little help, but that's part of the idea behind this whole process, to teach them about having their own devotional times. The older boys went two different directions, one digging into the gospels (off his iPod, ain't modern technology grand?) and the other heading into the Old Testament and the book of Isaiah. Neal continued to read what he's been reading in his daily time of work from the book of Job. Not very Chistmas-y but it's where he's been reading.

As for me, I read a little from each of the chapters I knew the younger two were looking into and I also read the Psalm that was connected to the Christmas carol I knew we'd be talking about when we gathered back together. It led me off onto a short word study on the word "joy." It's where I think I'd like to spend my devotional times for the month of December.

I was actually really pleased by the kids' responses, even Neal was on board. When they came back up to the table they each wanted to share about what they had read. It was almost hard to get the conversation going about the CHRISTmas carol I had chosen for the day.

Eventually I did. I played a pretty "rockin'" version of Joy to the World by Casting Crowns. I had been meditating on the words of the song most of the day, and the phrase that had been running through my mind over and over again was "let every heart prepare Him room..." That was the desire I had to impart to my kids, that I wanted us to make room for Jesus in this holiday season.

It was a hearty discussion, my younger two competing to answer my questions (we're going to have to work on that) the older boys having input and excitement too. I loved having us all sit there together sharing about the Lord. It made me feel like I was doing God's will.

I learned a few interesting things that day as I looked into the carol, for example I found a "lost" verse that I've never heard sung before. It's the 3rd of 4 verses in the song and it says:

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

As a family we talked about the curse of our sin nature, and how the Lord came in part to break that. We talked about the "making room" and how when baby Jesus was born there was "no room" at the inn, and how in the world today, it seems more and more, that there is "no room" for Christ in CHRISTmas. I really wanted to impart to my kids the importance of remembering what the holiday is really all about. For our first day I have to say, I think it was pretty successful.

Yesterday we were not able to continue in the plan. It made me a little sad to drop the ball already on the 2nd day of the month, but it is why I said I wasn't going to be legalistic about it. Last night was Victoria's dress rehearsal for the CHRISTmas musical at the church, my honorary son was around but he had to be at church by 5 for worship practice, Neal got off late and got stuck in traffic so he wasn't home till after 5, and had to be to church by 6 for his worship practice. It just didn't come together, and yet truly, it was because most of the family was centering about the things of God, so it's certainly not the end of the world, or the end of the "Joy to the World."

We did decide at the table that for His birthday we're going to try to give Jesus a whole month of the Philippians 2:14 challenge. We're going through a rough phase of sibling rivalry with my younger two, and some tattle-taling and whining tightly intertwined, so having the ability to remind my kids of the gift we're giving Jesus is a good thing.

I really want to dig deeper in to the Word about joy, because to be honest, I have been struggling with it since yesterday. As determined as I was Monday to focus on it and choose to be joyful, yesterday the resolve felt sapped out of me. But I am trying to "prepare Him room in my heart because He is so very worthy. And I know that the word says, in His presence is fullness of joy.

I have not really prepared for the holidays, I have officially bought three small gifts and that's it. The outside of our home is decorated but nary a decoration is displayed inside. I guess my focus is to first decorate my heart, and the hearts of my family with the true holiday spirit, the spirit of CHRISTmas, focusing on the many gifts we've already been given but perhaps have neglected recently to enjoy.

Joy to the World
Joy to the world! the Lord is come;
Let earth receive her King;
Let every heart prepare him room,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven and nature sing,
And heaven, and heaven, and nature sing.

Joy to the Earth! the Saviour reigns;
Let men their songs employ;
While fields and floods, rocks, hills, and plains
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat the sounding joy,
Repeat, repeat the sounding joy.

No more let sins and sorrows grow,
Nor thorns infest the ground;
He comes to make His blessings flow
Far as the curse is found,
Far as the curse is found,
Far as, far as, the curse is found.

He rules the world with truth and grace,
And makes the nations prove
The glories of His righteousness,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders of His love,
And wonders, wonders, of His love.

Sing to the LORD a new song,
for he has done marvelous things;
his right hand and his holy arm
have worked salvation for him.
The LORD has made his salvation known
and revealed his righteousness to the nations.
He has remembered his love
and his faithfulness to the house of Israel;
all the ends of the earth have seen
the salvation of our God.
Shout for joy to the LORD, all the earth,
burst into jubilant song with music;
make music to the LORD with the harp,
with the harp and the sound of singing,
with trumpets and the blast of the ram's horn—
shout for joy before the LORD, the King.
Let the sea resound, and everything in it,
the world, and all who live in it.
Let the rivers clap their hands,
Let the mountains sing together for joy;
let them sing before the LORD,
for he comes to judge the earth.
He will judge the world in righteousness
and the peoples with equity.
Psalm 98

... let every heart prepare Him room...

'Tis the Season...

...for Christmas themed blogging. Last year it was the 25 days of CHRISTmas, with the goal of establishing CHRIST firmly in the DePriest Christmas holiday. The goal for 2009 of course remains the same, I want to make sure the "reason for the season" is clear here in our home, but the plan for the process this year that's on my heart is different.

I have to be honest, I haven't been very excited about the holidays. Money is tight and as most people are, we are struggling and juggling. My husband and son thought they had busted me on a false "bah-humbug" attitude yesterday because they hear me singing "Jingle Bells" in the shower, but honestly I think I picked it up somewhere like a virus. It was not an overflow of Christmas cheer.

Then I headed off to church yesterday. As I was driving down the street alone I was rooting around behind myself trying to find my bible and keep my eye on the road at the same time. As I grabbed hold of it and plopped it into the front seat, I noticed my relatively new bible is starting to show signs of wear. Immediately I realized the wear is truthfully from lack of use and too much time sliding around in the back of my van. It's a stark contrast to another bible I own, that is severely tattered and worn. The big difference is that its battle scars came from use, extreme use. It literally is coming right out of it's binding. As I the thought came to me, I knew it was the Holy Spirit pricking my heart.

It was also a preparing of my heart for the message I was to hear at church yesterday morning. My pastor was exhorting us to be in the word. It was actually a great sermon that both challenged and encouraged me, but it's not the point behind this post, so if you want to hear it for yourself, just click here and listen for yourself to the 11/30 message called True Revival. Go, have a listen, I'm sure you will be blessed.

Bottom line for this blog's purpose though, was I walked away inspired, not only to be better about getting in the word, but also about getting my kids deeper into the word too.

So, tomorrow we will have daily devotional times. Different than before, we used to all sit together and read out of a family devotional and pray together. But all my kids are readers now, and so what's going to happen is every day for 30 minutes, all the TVs and computers and iPods, etc., will be shutting down, and we'll divide and each have our own personal devotional time. Then we will gather back together for a Christmas themed family devotional.

As I was driving to work this morning I got an inspiration. I'm not really sure how it's going to all come together, and it may even turn out to be a bigger bite than I can chew, but I'm going to give it a shot.

So here's my goal: every day I want to pick a different Christ-centered Christmas carol (seems like that should be redundant, but it isn't) and explore the deeper meaning, talk about the Truth that lines up with it. And if time and inspiration permit, I think also I will post here about it too. I'm not making the same "25 days" commitment I made last year, because let's face it, it could be a big bomb, but if I hit something insightful or a tad bit inspirational, I will be sure to blog about it here. I hope there are 25 carols worth digging into.

Tomorrow I'm kicking it off with one of my faves, Joy to the World, come by and check to see if it makes the blog!

Merry Christmas!

The Cost of Fellowship

A dear woman, who I admire greatly, has often been heard to make the statement, "sometimes people break your china." What she was referring to (in my understanding) is that sometimes, when you are in relationship with people, they're going to hurt or offend you. It's a fact of life.

It's similar to my thought process on interpreting Proverbs 14:4 which says, "Where no oxen are, the trough is clean; but much increase comes by the strength of an ox." I always thought that was a beautiful way to describe church. Church would be a perfect place if there were no people in it, but if there were no people in it, nothing would be accomplished for the kingdom of God.

I guess what I'm saying is, relationships are messy. People offend you, or rub you the wrong way. They can hurt you, unintentionally, or even with purpose. Being in relationship with people gives them power in your life, makes you vulnerable and can be extremely challenging at times. And yet, God has indeed called us to be relational, intimately so.

Being in relationship is work, it's not easy or natural, it takes effort. I don't think that is better exemplified anymore clearly than in marriage. Now as wives go, I don't know there could be any more crazy about her husband than I am. I love that man beyond words, but I can honestly say one of the happiest days for me in our marriage was when we sat counseling a struggling couple and I heard him say the words, "marriage is hard." You see for a long time... a long, long time, my husband held the same misconception that so many others I know do. He thought marriage should be easy, simple, natural even. I'm not sure why he thought that but he did. So I was hard pressed not to stand up and do a happy dance that day, some eighteen years into our marriage, when he finally confessed the challenges.

Although it is well illustrated in marriage, I think the reasoning of the complications of relationship are the same in other relationships too, like family, friendship, authority - all a challenge.

I'll grant you that some friendships are easy, fun, and with few or no complications, but I would challenge you to examine the depth of them. When they are that simple, it is in my opinion because of one of two reasons. Either, it's not all that deep, it's very surface, built on a common interest, like say a golf buddy, or because the relationship has gone deep enough, and had enough effort put into it that it's got a really strong foundation and is built with clear guidelines.

Guidelines? Yes, that's what I said. I have a few friendships in my life built in this manner, but I have one in particular that is really well structured. My friend and I even call the guidelines our "rules." Both of us being women, she being very open emotionally and me being one who over thinks everything we decided that if anything even ever seemed off between us, we had to check it out. We had to be open and ask one another and clear the air as soon as either of us felt things were off. She's been my friend for over 10 years, and although we have had bumps in the road, I can honestly say it is one of the strongest relationships in my life.

Has she ever broken my china? Probably. Have I ever broken hers? Undoubtedly, and yet our friendship remains. But through the years, and through the process we've managed to build something to last, and something that I believe benefits us both. When I'm out of line, no one calls me on the carpet faster than my friend. Not because she has some power in our relationship to harm me, but because she loves me, she cares about me, and she sincerely wants what's best for me. She doesn't let me wander off God's path for me without throwing a rope to pull me back.

I think God's heart is for His body to be filled with relationships like that one. People who are willing to be real and transparent with one another, intimate. People who are just as willing to share their struggles as their victories and just as open to accept criticism as accolades. It isn't easy, even for me and my friend, but the benefits are worth it, most of all the fellowship that comes from walking arm and arm, looking out for one another and encouraging each other along the way.

There are many costs to fellowship like this one though. You have to be willing to forgive, to overlook offenses, when they "break your china" whether it's a chip, or it's been completely smashed - because both will happen, probably more than once. My son and his friend have this running joke. One will slap the other, and in response he will "turn the other cheek," bringing along with it a vengeful hand that slaps back bigger and harder than the friend who slapped first. In teenage high jinks it's all fun and laughter, but underneath it lies an attitude in life, in "the world" that to many hold truth, and it destroys relationships in the process.

Another cost to fellowship is accountability. It's tough to be accountable. It gives permission to those around you to do that "calling on the carpet" I was talking about. It means not letting your friend off the hook when they should have been holding to a higher standard. It's often when accountability pops into the picture that I see people run from relationships. I know I have experienced that myself. I have seen people around me who have appreciated hearing truth until they are questioned about why they aren't living truth. Funny thing is, being accountable probably births as much benefit in spiritual growth as anything. Teachable people are growing people. Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid. Proverbs 12:1 - Ouch! Did God just call someone stupid? He did, strong words... I guess we should take in that point. So many people run from accountability and I think when they do they set up a huge stumbling block in their own path towards spiritual maturity.

The benefit of the doubt, there's another challenge to fellowship. We have to choose to assume the best about one another. If someone does, in fact, "chip your china" you have to choose to assume they didn't mean to. For some people that's in their nature, for me others that's not totally the case.

Actually, I know I'm not the only one who struggles with that. Have you ever accidentally cut someone off on the freeway? I did yesterday and it was followed by an emphatic and heartfelt series of single finger salutes in my rear view mirror. I felt bad, but wasn't too much worse for the wear, but it's a different story when you're in relationship with a person. Neal and I often drive home from church in caravan when we've had to start our day at different times. If I accidentally cut him off to find him making the same gestures in my rear view mirror I would be wounded that he would think I had cut him off intentionally. But if I did cut him off, he would have to give up his "right" to display his displeasure for the sake of assuming I meant him no ill will. It's part of being in relationship.

Messy, a hassle, an inconvenience, sometimes even wounds, some earned, some undeserved, but wounds just the same. All are costs to fellowship.

But God has indeed called His children into fellowship. And truth be told, the benefits far outweigh the challenges and inconveniences. True fellowship, with one another and in the body as a whole, brings light, and life and hope. Having people in your life who truly know you and accept you, despite your "china breaking" ways brings strength, it causes there to be a security that knowing even when you fail, you have people in your life who will still love you and stand with you. Accountability isn't fun, but brings forth the truth of "iron sharpening iron." Proverbs 27:17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so people can improve each other. (NCV) There is growth and strength in relationships like that.

Being someone who gives the benefit of the doubt makes us a people of grace. It makes us clearer reflectors of God's goodness, and being on the receiving end of the benefit of the doubt gives us hope, and courage to press on and step through doors that might otherwise intimidate us, doors that lead to true and intimate friendships, where people can be counted on, and where we ourselves long to become better friends, better spouses, better parents, better Christians.

God meant for us to be in relationship, close and committed to one another. The old charcoal analogy speaks well, a single briquette alone can neither burn well or even keep warm for long, but when many are brought together the power of the flame and the evidence of the heat are strong and effective. Likewise fellowship not only benefits the individual but the body of Christ as a whole, whether observed in the church or the kingdom, the benefits of fellowship are vast.

So what holds you back? Do you prefer to be a golf buddy to a true friend? Even a "church buddy" alone lacks the benefit if you aren't willing to make a deeper investment. But if we each take that step of faith from independence to interdependence, we might just find the body to be effective within the kingdom and toward the world in a greater way. So, let's be real, be available, be open, the inconvenience could pay off for a lifetime.

If one part suffers, every part suffers with it;
if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it.
1 Corinthians 12:26-27 (NIV)

Direct

If I had to describe myself in ten words or less, it would surely make the list. In reality, it would probably even land in the top three. It might even be number one. It's who I am, I am extremely straight forward and will almost always tell you not only what I think, but also why I think it. Sometimes I do it, even when I'd rather not, it's just how I'm geared up.

I can say the Lord has done a lot to help me work on my delivery but the sentiment behind it has remained somewhat unchanged. It's sort of like mixing a little sugar in the elixir, it doesn't really make it taste any better, but it makes it a little easier to swallow.

I don't mean to be harsh, but sometimes I am. The different responses I get from people for being so direct are often fascinating. As one might imagine, it sends a lot of people running. What interests me is the people who almost seem to crave it. They're drawn to it. Maybe because there don't seem to be a lot of "straight shooters" in these days of political correctness and the "all about me" driven generation. I'm always fascinated by the people who express admiration for my directness until it's turned towards them in a way they don't want to hear. It makes me wonder why they thought I wouldn't shoot straight towards them too.

One thing for certain, people know where I stand, and if they're willing to come close enough, they know where we stand with each other. I don't do it in an unloving way, necessarily, I just don't have the time or energy to play games. If there is something between us, let's talk about it, let's hash it out. Let's figure it out so we can either get through it or get past it, even if we have to agree to disagree.

Although it has at times gotten me into some uncomfortable situations, I would rather be this way than not. I would rather not be one of those people who is unwilling to own their words. I don't want to be someone who would say something behind your back that I would never say to your face. It's not fair to you, and it's not the person I want to be.

Maybe it's why I am really struggling with recent revelation about someone I know who has been badmouthing me and my family for 20 years, and never once has had the nerve to say it to my face. I think the thing that really ticks me off is that I knew what was thought and what was being said. It might have been even worse than what I thought, but it wasn't surprising, but having the confirmation has really made me angry. Angry, and battling against being true to my very direct self, for the sake of someone else... an innocent of sorts, maybe even a couple of unrelated bystanders, but it is a challenge.

I have a bird's eye view of a few other situations around me where directness is lacking. Someone shared with me about one situation and how they had advised a friend to just avoid the conflict and the person related. My thought was, how do you know the truth if you don't address the situation? How do you know there isn't misinformation or a misunderstanding if you don't address the situation head on. She told me she thought that was a more "mature" approach. I don't know if that's necessarily true, but I do know, I can't stand to be left wallowing in wonder and assumptions.

I guess this is just really a venting/ rambling post. I don't have some great insight or biblical principal that I am trying to apply here, though when I think of Jesus in the temple flipping tables - He was pretty direct. And when He sat with the woman at the well, He didn't avoid the issue at hand so as not to hurt her feelings, He spoke honestly to her about the sin in her life. So I guess I could make the argument that Jesus would be pro-directness. He certainly valued truth. I probably could use a lot of work towards His delivery, and surely the sincerity of His heart behind it, but the clarity behind it remains.

I know in all likelihood when this person and I cross paths the truth will come out, and I will directly confront the things that have been said, but for the sake of others I won't seek the opportunity out. It's difficult, but I won't.

Can I just say, in all honesty, that I would prefer more people be direct. I would rather know what you're thinking, and where we stand with one another than tried to read signs or go on intuition, although my intuition often proves to be good, as clearly reflected by the situation I currently face.

Funny, I am usually so transparent here (I know, almost to a fault) and now I find myself being vague as I talk about being direct, but let me assure you it is for the purpose of keeping someone else safe, not me. I would rather be rejected for who I am than be admired for who I'm not.

Anxiety

Today I have been overwhelmed with emotion, I don't care for the feeling. I woke up first thing this morning and before I was even fully aware of my surroundings, I was all too aware of the urgent sense of fear that was gripping my heart. It was an anxiety attack, or panic attack, whichever phrase you prefer. I have battled them for about five years.

In 2004 after we finally finalized Ethan's adoption after over 3 years of an emotional roller coaster, things had finally settled down in our lives and suddenly I started having these horrible bouts of anxiety and fear. I remember one day in particular that I was at our women's Bible study and I was sitting in a corner at a table and it felt like everything I could do not to crawl right out of my skin. I felt so completely cornered and vulnerable. I could barely breathe, and I was battling to keep the expression of my overwhelming emotions inside, because I was also embarrassed. I have always had this odd quirk about having to sit where I could see more of the room than not, or have the exit in clear view (random view into my faulted psyche) but this was different, all my rules were being followed, and yet I thought I was going to lose it right there in the middle, or rather corner, of our church cafe.


I did a lot of research and found out that panic attacks can be common after prolonged periods of stress. Ethan's 3 year adoption certainly qualified as such. Apparently what happens is when you live on a heightened sense of adrenaline for a long period, your adrenal gland will afterwards just misfire. You'll be sitting quietly and all of a sudden the trigger is pulled and you are overwhelmed with the "fight or flight" response. The problem back then was I just didn't know what it was, so first came the anxiety attack and then came the actual anxiety. It's highly stressful.

So here we are five year later, and my nemesis still raises his ugly head from time to time. It's sort of a relief when there is an actual stress going on so you know what the trigger is. A few months back when we were trying to refinance I was anxious about the money we paid in hope of of qualifying. I was having a lot of attacks those days, but today, I honestly can't put my finger on a trigger, but it doesn't matter, because someone else shot off the gun.

I don't know why they seem to come in the morning. It's very strange to wake up in your own bed from a good night's sleep and to suddenly feel what seems like a stranglehold on your heart. Like waves on the shore, it ebbed and flowed in and out throughout the day. At times I felt like the waves were beating me down, my heart in my throat feeling the fear but not knowing its source.

Unfortunately, no matter how well I may describe the feelings to you, if you have never experienced a panic attack, you cannot fully comprehend what I am describing. People who don't know treat you like you are weak, or there is something wrong with you. The "suck it up" attitude just doesn't work here. I know, I've tried. It's not fully emotional, and it's not the emotions alone that plague you. It's the physiological response that stands like the dragon needing to be slain.

Anxiety. I know the Bible says "be anxious for nothing," and when I know what my worries are, I do my best to give them to the Lord, but when it has no source, the battle against them is more difficult. Today I turned up the worship in my office, trying to fill my mind with truth. I tried to focus. The Bible says, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You." So I do my best to stay my focus. When I am unsure, God is sure. When I am overwhelmed, God remains in control. When I am lost, God stands.

Jesus is the one thing... the one need, the one constant, the one hope, the one truth, the one life... He is the answer to the anxiety... And I pray I see the fullness of it soon, in Jesus' name.

The I-Heart Vision

I saw the most incredible movie last night. The name of the movie was "We're All in This Together." I've also heard it called the Hillsong movie, or the i-Heart movie because it was by the Hillsong United worship band and i-Heart is the title of the mission behind the movie.

Good news, bad news. The good news is that it was quite possibly the most amazing documentary I've ever seen in my life; bad news is to my understanding the single showing last night was the single showing of it... period. I'm hoping that won't remain to be the case, because I know I wasn't the only person powerfully affected by the film, so hopefully it will be back to be seen again. If you hear about it playing anywhere, my advice is "go see it!"

Truthfully I am struggling for the words to express the movie and how it made me feel. I think a lot of people went thinking it would be a concert movie, and although they did have an intro time where they shared some terrific new worship songs, that's SO not what the movie was about.

What the movie was about was touching the world for Christ, it was about meeting needs, reaching out, LOVING people. It showed a lot of the need, from across your street, across town to across the world. Everywhere we go there are hurting people in need. It talked about how we are not perfect people, but we as Christians are people with hope, and we have the means to make a difference.

There were a ton of terrific quotes shared throughout the movie, really thought provoking truths. My favorite one of the night (paraphrased) was "We have one life to spend, it should be spent on something that will outlast it." The movie was filled with thought provoking concepts like that one.

It was also filled with stories about people who saw needs, and stepped out and made a difference - like slavery being abolished in England because of the life efforts of one man, and the Salvation Army being started by one woman, people who refused to ignore the needs they saw, and the world becoming a different place because of it.

I'm doing a lousy job here expressing what I saw, and what I experienced, words are falling short. But if you'd like to know more about the I-Heart movement behind the movie, you can click here to go to the website.

I also walked away with a mix of emotions, envy and pride. Envy for the young people serving Christ who have all their life defining decisions still ahead of them. Am I saying I cannot have an impact on the world? Of course not, but neither do I have the freedom to serve and do to the capacity that they do, life has its obligations. The pride came in watching the responses of some of the Envision boys who were there too. Say what you will about the generation of today's youth, the young people I know are incredible, outwardly focused, servant-hearted, followers of Christ. I'm honored to know and have a bird's eye view into the lives of my son and his friends. I look at them and I see world changers, and I look forward to watching the impact they're going to have on the world around them. They will make an impact for Christ and make the world a better place. Maybe, hopefully, part of my investment in something that will outlast my life, is encouraging them to do all they can for the Lord. I believe in them, I hope they know that. I look forward to watching the impact they're going to have on the world around them.

Like I said, the whole experience has left me at a loss for words to describe the fullness of the impact I felt, but I know I walked away wanting to love more, wanting to touch the hurting world around me in a deeper way. It made me walk away wanting to live the gospel. Like Saint Francis of Assisi exhorted, "“Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.” Yeah, that's what I'd like my life to be about. If you hear about this moving being out and available for viewing again, go see it. But even if you can't see the movie, I hope you'll live its vision.

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.
1 John 3:16